Christmas With Audrey

Once I get my pictures scanned, I think I will post one of my mother. She really was a genuinely wonderful person. Well loved and well missed. The last Christmas we spent with her was in 1984.

She was quite ill, but still able to live at home. Our father took my brother Rodney and I out to pick some gifts for her. We got a couple of cute nighties, bath things, butterfly writing paper, and her most favorite thing...CHOCOLATE SNOWBALLS! These are not the home-made cookies you may be thinking of, but a soft, fluff like marshmallow covered in chocolate and coconut that you purchase pre-packaged. She absolutely loved them, and they were always around at Christmas.

My most vivid memory of Christmas to date is the joyous sight of my mother eating her favorite treat, getting marshmallow on her lips and chin in a childlike manner. We are very much alike in some ways, she and I.

I miss you Mom.

It's Christmas Eve, Eve

What a great day! I went out this morning and got the remainder of my purchases made. I just had to get a little candy and some things at the grocery store. I chose time and stores wisely, it seems. All went well. I spent my time at home getting the house cleaned and whatnot as I am having Blake's family (mom, dad, and brother) over for dinner tomorrow evening. The boys are here until noon on Chirstmas day, so I am having my dinner on Christmas Eve. It is almost midnight here and I still have some shortbread cookies in the oven, but all is well. I am at peace. Psssst!!!!!! Christmas is the day after tomorrow. I am very excited.

I really love Christmas you know! I enjoy giving a gift that the receiver truly enjoys. It doesn't matter how much it costs, just that I have considered what that person would like and appreciate. Receiving gifts is also very nice, however, I am pretty easy to please in that regard so generally I am genuinely pleased.

I want to wish everyone a very Merry Christmas, although I expect I will post after the boys have left. I will have some pictures from tomorrow and Christmas morning. Everything is ready, and I feel fabulous. Life is good.

Concert Pictures

Seth is the child in the back row, wearing red. Unfortunately, I snapped as he bent over... I wish I could add a big arrow and circle so you could at least see where he was standing!

Sidney is front and centre wearing orange. He oves to entertain.

Happy Holidays?!!

Do you know that you are not allowed to say the word "Christmas" in any song during the "Holiday Season Concert" at my son's school? Wow! Hey! Wouldn't want to offend anybody by saying "Merry Christmas". I am all for diversity of culture and religion, but living in a community that is clearly 85-90% Christian (those who celebrate Christmas), it is amazing to me that our children are not permitted to say this classic, happy phrase. Is it offensive to share warm wishes with others, even if they may not share our religious beliefs? How is it that we have come to place so much importance on not offending people who immigrate to our province that we will deny ourselves our own right to celebrate our religious holidays? I guarentee if I moved to India I couldn't appeal to their government to stop the citizens from open celebration of their holidays! Only in Canada my friends!

The boys each had a small Christmas concert at their respective child care facilities, however, school children from grades 3-6 no longer take part in the "Holiday Season Concert" unless they are a part of the band or choir. Thankfully, people still say "Merry Christmas" in the streets here. I will be sad when that is gone.

I will post a pic from Sidney's concert tonight or tomorrow, but I only got one pic at Seth's. He bent to tie his shoe as I waited for the digital delay, then they were all done. He doesn't mind not participating in the concert. Not really his thing. Sid, on the other hand, LOVES IT!

Eat and Be Merry

'Tis the season, as they say! I love Christmas time. The decorating, the music, the parties and all. I went to two parties this past weekend. Needless to say I am tired today but it was worth it for sure. My staff party was Friday at noon. We shut down the warehouse to have a bbq steak dinner with all the fixings. My boss loves to shop for the food, so there is always plenty for everyone, and it is all yummy! He gets all the ingredients for potato salad and prepares it the night before at home. I asked him if I could make anything, he said he had it covered. He also checks with each staff member to ask what they would like to drink. No hard alcohol, but beer, coolers, wine even, but most of us get beer. It goes so well with the steak and stuff. Can you tell I love food?

Blake's party was Saturday night. It was at a nice restaurant in town called Boomerang's. The menu was a single page with no need for more choices. It was a great assortment. We also had a chance to have some yummy drinks in between the four courses. The place was packed by 8:00pm, and you could tell they wanted us to get r done and get out. We came to my place and a couple from the party came by for a drink. All in all, a weekend full of food and merriment (perhaps more than necessary of the latter).

So the nicest part of Saturday evening was the little gift I received a few days early. I had bought some costume jewelry to go with my dress, but it hung a little oddly. I was going to wear it, but Blake gave me something to open. It is a beautiful necklace with one of those circle of life charms. I love it, and him.

I have not been able to figure out how to put to pictures below the dialog with captions. If anyone has any helpful hints, please let me know.

A Bedtime Story

I Love You So...

"I love you."
"How much?"
"SO much."
"How much is so?"
"Way, Way MORE than you know..."

I love you as BRILLIANT as each sparkling star,
and as WAY OUT as space, I love you that far.

I love you as GIGANTIC as a great lion's roar,
and as DEEP as the ocean, I love you MUCH more.

"That is a lot," you say, "but HOW did it start"
WHERE did love come from to be in you heart?"

YOU put it there, really, when you and I met.
And I knew for certain WITHOUT you I'd fret.

From MY HEAD to my TOES, I was feeling inside
a devotion to you SO DEEP and SO WIDE.

And now it's ENORMOUS and wonderfully real
and hard to describe HOW MUCH I feel!

I love you as AWESOME as a thunder sky,
and as SOARING as mountains, I love you THAT high.

I love you as SILLY as a puppy dog's kiss,
and as QUIET as midnight, I love you like THIS.

"Do you love me EVERY day?" you ask with doubting awe,
"or does love go UP 'N DOWN like a teetering see saw?"

I love you as STEADY as the earth rounds the sun,
thought SOME days of life, are the FARTHEST from fun.

"Like when you feel MAD?" you ask with distress,
"'cause I've BROKEN the rules or made a BIG mess?
Or , when I'm UNKIND, and your feelings are BLUE,
do you love me ALTHOUGH I do what I do?"

I love you being NICE, and when you're CRANKY, too.
I love you without liking the NAUGHTY things you do.

My 'love you' DOESN'T change like the temper of the days.
It's a CERTAIN kind of thing in many DIFFERENT ways.

You're my SWEETIE, my dear, my SMILE and laughter.
You're my PLAYMATE for always, and my JOY ever after.

Hanging out WITH YOU is where I want to be...
eating ice cream sundaes or watching the TV.

UNDER you umbrella, behind you on a bike
By you and BESIDE you is what I REALLY like.

"Do you love me just AS MUCH when I'm FAR away from home?
Is your loving still THE SAME in distant lands I roam?"

I love you NEAR or FAR. I love you HIGH or LOW.
My love is there with you WHEREVER you may go.

"Even when I'm SICK...and I can't get out of bed?
Do you love me better HEALTHY than with fever in my head?"

I CAN'T IMAGINE life before YOU came along...
me there singing senseless, no MEANING to my song.

Call it MEANT TO BE or simply blessed fate,
you fill my heart WITH LOVE and for that I celebrate.

"I love you."
"How much?"
"SO much."
"How much is 'so'?"
"WAY, WAY MORE than you know..."

written by: Marianne Richmond

We're Jumping For Joy!!!

My girl's gettin married! Adair and I have been friends for more than half our lives. We have shared joys, sorrows, laughter and tears. We have always stayed in touch, met one another's loves, and been there when everything seemed to "fall apart". Adair is a special person for whom I have always had admiration. Her life took a different path allowing her to focus on career rather than family. Well, now it's her turn to be the wonderful stepmother that she is, and have children of her own as well.

I am so very happy for her, and cannot wait for updates on wedding plans.

Anxiety Rears It's Ugly Head

Ever had that tightness in your chest? That feeling that your heart is going to leap right out of your chest and be exposed to the world? As if you cannot catch your breath no matter how hard you try? Thoughts racing through your mind so quickly you can't catch up?

I have generalized anxiety disorder (so says my doctor). There are names for every kind of disorder--have you noticed? It's really just something to call it so you are aware and can work to fix it, or at least live comfortably with it. I have had a hectic 3 years and have certainly had some upsets and stress attached to it all. Overall, I am proud of how well I have done with it. I did take meds for a few months during a particularly difficult patch. I still felt anxious sometimes, but wasn't losing my breath so much. It was under control. I learned how to channel it a bit, and stopped the meds in July. Since then, things have been going pretty well. I can tell when I am stressed because I grit my teeth together making my jaw very tight and sore--often when I am sleeping.

So, today I was sitting at work, thinking about the changes I would like to make in my life for the benifit of my family. And it began--all those signs of the ugliness about to invade my mind and body for a time. Wow! There are all kinds of things happening right now, so I suppose it was bound to happen. I need to upgrade my computer skills, get a better job, and just be happy. Don't get me wrong, I love where I work but will never have a chance to advance there. Just the way it is...gotta move on eventually. Hence, the panic attack. It doesn't always take a large thing to start. Sometimes it is really the smallest of things, but once the thoughts start rolling, it's got me. I just had to purge a little. It is close to sleepy time. Thank you for listening. Goodnight.

Everybody Smile!

I was at the airport one evening waiting to pick someone up, and decided to play a little game. I sat down near the arrival monitors, made eye contact, and smiled at each person who looked in my direction. The results were so very interesting. Some people don't quite know what to make of it, so they give a little close-liped smile, and move on. Others find it quite engaging--and I don't mean in a flirty way. I got so many beautiful smiles back that evening. Made it very worthwhile for me.