I have been sharing custody of my boys with my ex-husband for 2 years now. We each get them Monday to Monday. We exchange at the end of the work day on Monday, therefore avoiding any situations where we have to go to one-another's homes. Hmmmm...generally, things go very smoothly and the arrangement is nice for both of us. I have gotten flack for this choice, so listen up!
These are the real options in that situation: I could fight and have them all the time (with visitation rights to their father), or I could give up half their lives so that they can be with both of us. I chose the latter. I really believe this is the best choice for our children, and let's face it, no matter how we feel about one another, the children are the first priority. Their happiness is paramount.
I remember signing the separation agreement, and reading the words over and over again, knowing that this was going to make everything very permanant--no going back!!! I have my children here in my home every other week. I have every OTHER week all to myself. Wow!!! What does a mama do with so much spare time? You get used to it...believe me. You think you never will, and in some ways I never really have. I think about them when the aren't here as I go about my days, but it is ok. I know that they are safe and well cared for with their father. I know I will see them soon.
So what does a lady do? She spends a lot of time with friends, or alone in peaceful silence, or gets to know the new man in her life...sounds nice to me! Time to contemplate choices and take things slow without upsetting the delicate balance of my children's lives and emotions.
I am happy, and it is amazing what you can get used to.