Well then I have to clean it up, it's only fair.
Let's get ready for the 10 SECOND TIDY!
Ah, if only all life's messes could be cleaned up so quickly and easily. I was driving in the car this morning, just thinking about the boys and the decisions I have made that effect their lives. I have often thought of writing a little about my own perspective on my divorce but I feel it will be better in parts, rather than one long post.
In my particular situation, the decision to split was mutual. We had both been feeling unhappy for so long that we didn't treat one another kindly. I feel I need to say right now that although some of the events were completely out of my control, I take FULL responsibility for my own actions and words. It is difficult and takes a long time to see things that way because initially it is always easier to say that the other party was the cause of contention (not that I was going around blaming him but...sometimes what we think matters too). I believe that our own personal experiences as we grow (what we see and hear) shape the way we connect and interact with others, particularly in a relationship. When I noticed that the words we spoke were becoming angrier and less compassionate, I knew that if something didn't change, I would not be able to live a happy life with him. I had seen "unhappy" growing up and simply refused to allow my own children to grow up that way. I don't want them to hear negative, disrespectful words. I don't want them to think that it is normal or right to talk that way. Did we do everything we could to make it work? We did all we knew to do. It is too late for regrets and I never had any to begin with, aside from the obvious reasons to remain (children, house, established life).
So what can I do now to improve my life? Think before I speak, be sensitive to the needs of my partner, and SPEAK MY MIND!