Isn't There a Better Way to Advertise This S**t?

I am the keeper of the e-mail at my small office. Everyone has their own address, but anything addressed to "info@" comes through me. We are on a network and I am not sure what causes it, but we get a great deal of spam mail. I am running a very old system, and can't put the proper filters on to stop them from coming. I never open them, but the subject lines say it all. I actually typed them into an e-mail to send home just so I could share them with you...

Celebrate the new year with an unforgettable night of love. (well that sounds nice, doesn't it?)
Become the man that women desire. (couldn't you just try to be charming?)
Feel more excitement of your girlfriend in the new year. (ohhh! you must have tried something new)
Give your body an unusual upgrade in 2008. (that could mean any number of things, don't you agree?)
Give your wife better stimulation in the year 2008. (something to work on, gentlemen!)
Find the best way to be a sexual champion in 2008. (well, I can give you a few little pointers if you like...)

Now, I can't imagine that you haven't figured out the common denominator in these subjects, but here are some more that certainly clear it up...

Make it longer and more powerful with our pills! (couldn't you just ask your gal for a little assistance?)
Self-pity is not for you! Fight for your male self-perfection! (I didn't think that men obsessed about this sort of thing)
Experience more masculine power in the new year with your bigger penis! (more masculine power?)
Don't miss out! Grow a monster in your pants for the new year! (now this one just kills me...hilarious!)
Turn your wee-wee into a real monster! (hehehe they said wee-wee!)
Your bigger dick will be your best friend now! (well, if that's the only friend you need, I suppose.)

And lastly...
Learn all about safe penis enlargement!

Obviously, the people sending these e-mails to my desktop every morning don't realize that I am a woman, and that I am perfectly satisfied with the one I use now, thanks anyway.