Desperately Random Thoughts

So, you may have noticed that I haven't been writing much lately. I still don't entirely feel like it, but I really do want to. It's like there have been so many thoughts floating around in my head I just didn't want to write it and sound negative, you know? Talking while in the middle of it all was just too much for me. I haven't really been calling my girls as much either. Just need to relax and regroup a little I guess. Now I am going to spill.

~Seth's MRI~

I called my doctor's office on Monday but didn't get a call back. I called again on Tuesday and my doctor answered. I asked about the results and she said she hadn't received them yet and that I should call the ortho surgeon's office. She also said that if he felt from the beginning that it could be something very serious, he would have called her. I called the surgeon's office and spoke with a kind lady named Tanya. Well, Tanya told me that she would check into it and call me back. She wrote down my work number and I continued on with my day. She called me back a couple of hours later to say that the doctor had not had a chance to look at the test results yet. She said that she would leave them on his desk and that I should expect a call for an appointment to review the results. I am really trying to be patient...really I am.

Patience is a virtue, patience is a virtue, PATIENCE IS A VIRTUE!

Did I say that out loud? Sorry about that. Anyhow, I talked to my doctor again yesterday just to say thanks for encouraging me to call his office and to let her know that he hadn't seen the report yet. She asked me what the doctor had said when he saw the lump to begin with. (Seth went to that appointment with his dad so my information was second hand. We work hard to pass important information as soon as possible.) I told he that he didn't think it was anything serious but that he would like to have the test done to be certain. *yes, let's be very certain about this puhlees * She said that she believes that if he thought it was serious he would have called her by now. I trust my doctor, I like my doctor and so I wait. So, when should I start harrassing the ortho's office?

~Children~

Seth has been very well behaved lately I must say. He is such a clever, serious boy. He is doing well in school and has decided not to argue with me as much about doing homework. He gets all in a snit sometimes and we have been working on that. He is rather bossy and mean to his little brother though, so he gets "spoken to" *aka yelled at* quite often. Again with the patience. I will say it once, then again. If by the third time the behavior isn't rectified there is some serious trouble brewing. I usually take something away for a period of time. It varies for each child. For Seth it is usually no WWE, no computer, no video games...depending on the offence of course. For everyday getting along and doing what he's told he is awesome. We leave the house at 7 every morning and he is always ready. Of course, he and I have had this routine for almost 8 years now.

Sidney is such a little drama queen! *ahem...king I mean* He is 4 now and starting big boy school this fall. He is just the funniest little guy, although he has recently become very sensitive about it. The boyfriend summed it up by saying that if he is trying to be funny he wants you to laugh but if he just says something and he wasn't trying he gets upset just cause he doesn't understand why we think it's so funny. Ah the joys of 4 year olds. He was the devil here a couple of weeks ago. The entire week consisted of ridiculous battles of will with anything that needed to be done. Baths, meals, getting dressed...you name it, he freaked about it. Good times, good times. Last week was a bit better. It's a constant struggle, but a the normal phase for his age. Testing boundries and all of that. He gets punished too...a seat in the corner with a little taste of hotsauce seems to do the trick for a while anyway.

Tyler has only just come into our lives. He met his father (the boyfriend of course) for the first time since the age of 2 just last August. He comes on all of the weekends when my boys are here and many of the ones they are not as well. He will be spending all of the weeks with the boys here this summer. He is a quiet boy. He luh-huh-huvs video games. I find this rather challenging because before Tyler, my boys really didn't care one way or the other but now it's all the rage. God, they love that boy! It's very nice to watch really. Ty is used to being the only child though so there are many other challenges that I could talk about, but I would rather not. *goes back to the being negative thing* We are working on manners and whining (or rather encouraging him not to) at the moment. *god help me*

~Relationships~

The boyfriend and I are doing well. We spend a lot of time together, just hanging out and talking. We get along well in general and agree on many family based topics. We got a membership to the local sports centre so we take the boys swimming at the pool on Saturdays and enjoy working out together when we are NOT being complete lameasses and not going. A positive in my life to be sure.

I have recently been speaking with my brother the genius. He suffers from depression and sometimes wants to be left alone. I have had a wealth of emotion surrounding this situation and am so very grateful that he has gotten in touch with me. I simply can't put it into words. The last time we spoke was last August, so I was just pleased to have him contact me on mother's day. It warms my heart to the core.

~the princess her own self~

I am starting to feel much better now that it is getting warmer and the sun is shining. I am still working on the job search thing, although I am grateful to have a job that pays the bills and keeps us going. Again, I could say more but I would rather keep a positive attitude. I am looking forward to the summer as it brings my birthday and the boyfriend's as well. We are taking the boys to visit my parents. We will stay with them for a couple of days and then he and I are going to my girl's wedding in a nearby town. It will be the first time I have been to Newfoundland, so it's pretty exciting.

Incidentally, I get seriously pissed off when I try to post and it gets all squished together. I am all done for now. I will talk to you tomorrow.

kisses,

the princess