Phases

I must say that I have been a little frustrated lately with my boys. Horrible, I know...may I burn in hell for it, but that's just how it is sometimes with children.

Sidney turned 3 in August, and has always been so full of energy and curiousity. As far as I am concerned, terrible 2's have nothing on 3's! He is prone to huge temper tantrums--regardless of where we are. Last night Blake and I took the boys to Wal-Mart, as they just opened in a new location. Sidney wanted to walk but wouldn't hold hands and had to go into a cart. He had a small fit and we almost turned around and left. We got through it and went through the store, then he threw another fit because I wouldn't buy him a toy. Well! Drama Queen emerged in full force, so Blake took him to the car while Seth and I waited at the checkout. When we got to the car, Blake told me that Sidney bit him when he was taking him out. Lovely! Temper, temper! He went to his room for the night when we got home. With Sidney, I know that it will eventually change and we will move onto another phase.

Now Seth. He turned 9 in October, and has always been able to push my buttons. We have spent considerable time alone together over the years as his father would be away for work. We have become very close, but also began to butt heads a lot. He is very intellegent, and believes that he knows everything and that he can make his own choices about what he wants to do at any given time. I am told this is partially an age-related problem which makes me feel a little better about it, but I find it very difficult. I have noticed that in general conversation, he will try to assert his opinions on things which are none of his business. He needs constant reminding that he is not the boss. He will made smart-assed remarks with no concern for consequence. He needs to be asked at least 2-3 times before even acknowledging that I have spoken. I tend to get excited and raise my voice in these situations, however, I am ever mindful and trying hard to change that reaction. I came to the sad conclusion that I find it stressful and unpleasant to spend quality time with him right now. It makes me feel very sad. I don't want to sit with him and have my feelings hurt. I show him love and affection, but have less patience. I feel like I am doing nothing but chastising him or nagging him. I know that as a parent I am doing what I am supposed to do and saying what needs to be said. I know that I am being assertive without being mean. Still feel bad sometimes though. I know that this too shall pass. Onto another phase. God help me!