Monday, September 29, 2008

Breaking Up: from heartache to happiness in 48 pages


One of my girls gave me the sweetest little book to read.
It's not quite as cute without the little cartoon gal but I think you'll enjoy it.
First Page says only "The End"
Being alone is one thing.
Being left alone is another.
As soon as you're told you are no longer wanted or loved...
your self-image takes a turn for the worse,
and you begin to hurt.
You feel inept, inadequate...
and positively good-for-nothing.
However--with some effort--you can make yourself smile.
To show there are no hard feelings, help him pack his belongings.
Begin with his laundry. You want to be sure he as clean undies. (Don't forget to starch them well.)
As you pack his socks, keep one from each pair. (Purely for sentimental reasons, of course.)
Make sure he has his favorite pajamas...*feeties*
and anything else he can't do without.*she's throwing his junk in a pile*
Give him half of everything. *cutting shirts in half*
Then say good-bye...
And don't look back.
Even though there are some things you can't do alone...
*see-saws, dancing, boating/water skiing, tennis*
Count your blessings!
Notice how the seat isn't left up anymore...
and how there's never any question about who ate the last chocolate chip cookie.
Enjoy your newly acquired wardrobe space...
and while you're at it, get rid of those silly things he expected you to wear.
Do your weekly grocery shopping. Notice that your bill--like your appetite--is next to nothing
...and delight in the fact that two can't live as cheaply as one.
When whatsisname comes by to say he's sorry, agree with him--and tell him no, you haven't seen his mother's picture, his magazine collection, or his favorite cashmere sweater.
Call all his friends you could never stand but had to tolerate, and tell them what you think of them!
Exercise your independence! *classic burning ceremony*
Weigh yourself. You're getting closer to zero every day. Smile.
Upon retiring, wear the ugliest, most unsexy, sloppy, wonderfully cozy, snug flannel nightgown you own...
Go to bed with dirty teeth.
If sleeping alone isn't your idea of a good time...
one way or another, you'll adjust. *stuffed toys*
Time doesn't fly when you're not having fun.
But that's what time is for...
to make things heal, make things better.
Soon, you'll see that for every problem...
there is a solution.
And by and by, that old feeling called "loneliness"...
begins to feel like something called "freedom."
Last page says only "The Beginning"

5 comments:

Practically Perfect In Every Way said...

very cute! anything that helps, even if it is half a shirt!

lady jaye said...

OMG Thank you for sharing that. I've been having issues w/ the ex and this totally makes me feel so much better. I hope that you're doing better as well. You've definitely been in my thoughts.

midgey said...

this is great cori, from one break up buddy to another thx!!!

PinkPiddyPaws said...

that was wonderful!

the princess said...

ppiew~I actually asked him if he would leave just 1 shirt. i love those dress shirts with the collars. i should have stolen one really.

ladyjaye~no problem my friend. i love it! the pictures are so cute. thank you for thinking of me and I hope your issues get resolved as soon as possible. you're doing great!

midgey~I have to bring it over so you can see it. welcome.

pinkpiddypaws~i know.