It finally happened. I have been doing so well this week.
I have been going to work, getting plenty done, managing my sadness, but alas...something had to give.
After coming home for lunch and writing the little "happy" post below, it all came crashing in on me...
I was driving back to work and noticed a delivery truck headed my way. We passed one another and guess who it was?
I didn't get a chance to beep or anything. I was sort of stunned.
Does that make sense? I suppose it is the first time I've seen him in a week. Oh that face!
When I got back to work, couple came in to see one of the salesmen. He wasn't in and they expressed frustration at not having their calls returned. It was a name I recognised because I have been trying to locate some 10 year old paperwork for warranty service for them. I explained that I have not been able to find the box for that year to send reference numbers to the company. The man then wanted me to explain all the details of why I couldn't locate it, what happened to it...whatever.
Honestly, at that moment I didn't give a shit what they wanted.
I wanted to shout at them...
Don't you understand that my boyfriend just left and I really don't want to argue with you over paperwork?!
He's gone! Can you possibly understand that? I am standing here talking to you about stupid paperwork while my life is falling apart around me. Can't you see I am in pain? Can't you see?
Of course, I finished the conversation stating that I would discuss it with the salesman and the manager when they got back to the office, because you know these things always happen when the people in question are out.
I went to the bathroom, sat on the floor and cried. I cried and cried. I felt my body shaking and my breathing get quicker. I went back to my desk did what I could then the boss told me to take off, breathe deep and don't worry. It'll be ok.
I'll be ok...just having a moment. An extremely irrational emotional moment.