Christmas With Audrey

Once I get my pictures scanned, I think I will post one of my mother. She really was a genuinely wonderful person. Well loved and well missed. The last Christmas we spent with her was in 1984.

She was quite ill, but still able to live at home. Our father took my brother Rodney and I out to pick some gifts for her. We got a couple of cute nighties, bath things, butterfly writing paper, and her most favorite thing...CHOCOLATE SNOWBALLS! These are not the home-made cookies you may be thinking of, but a soft, fluff like marshmallow covered in chocolate and coconut that you purchase pre-packaged. She absolutely loved them, and they were always around at Christmas.

My most vivid memory of Christmas to date is the joyous sight of my mother eating her favorite treat, getting marshmallow on her lips and chin in a childlike manner. We are very much alike in some ways, she and I.

I miss you Mom.

It's Christmas Eve, Eve

What a great day! I went out this morning and got the remainder of my purchases made. I just had to get a little candy and some things at the grocery store. I chose time and stores wisely, it seems. All went well. I spent my time at home getting the house cleaned and whatnot as I am having Blake's family (mom, dad, and brother) over for dinner tomorrow evening. The boys are here until noon on Chirstmas day, so I am having my dinner on Christmas Eve. It is almost midnight here and I still have some shortbread cookies in the oven, but all is well. I am at peace. Psssst!!!!!! Christmas is the day after tomorrow. I am very excited.

I really love Christmas you know! I enjoy giving a gift that the receiver truly enjoys. It doesn't matter how much it costs, just that I have considered what that person would like and appreciate. Receiving gifts is also very nice, however, I am pretty easy to please in that regard so generally I am genuinely pleased.

I want to wish everyone a very Merry Christmas, although I expect I will post after the boys have left. I will have some pictures from tomorrow and Christmas morning. Everything is ready, and I feel fabulous. Life is good.

Concert Pictures

Seth is the child in the back row, wearing red. Unfortunately, I snapped as he bent over... I wish I could add a big arrow and circle so you could at least see where he was standing!

Sidney is front and centre wearing orange. He oves to entertain.

Happy Holidays?!!

Do you know that you are not allowed to say the word "Christmas" in any song during the "Holiday Season Concert" at my son's school? Wow! Hey! Wouldn't want to offend anybody by saying "Merry Christmas". I am all for diversity of culture and religion, but living in a community that is clearly 85-90% Christian (those who celebrate Christmas), it is amazing to me that our children are not permitted to say this classic, happy phrase. Is it offensive to share warm wishes with others, even if they may not share our religious beliefs? How is it that we have come to place so much importance on not offending people who immigrate to our province that we will deny ourselves our own right to celebrate our religious holidays? I guarentee if I moved to India I couldn't appeal to their government to stop the citizens from open celebration of their holidays! Only in Canada my friends!

The boys each had a small Christmas concert at their respective child care facilities, however, school children from grades 3-6 no longer take part in the "Holiday Season Concert" unless they are a part of the band or choir. Thankfully, people still say "Merry Christmas" in the streets here. I will be sad when that is gone.

I will post a pic from Sidney's concert tonight or tomorrow, but I only got one pic at Seth's. He bent to tie his shoe as I waited for the digital delay, then they were all done. He doesn't mind not participating in the concert. Not really his thing. Sid, on the other hand, LOVES IT!

Eat and Be Merry

'Tis the season, as they say! I love Christmas time. The decorating, the music, the parties and all. I went to two parties this past weekend. Needless to say I am tired today but it was worth it for sure. My staff party was Friday at noon. We shut down the warehouse to have a bbq steak dinner with all the fixings. My boss loves to shop for the food, so there is always plenty for everyone, and it is all yummy! He gets all the ingredients for potato salad and prepares it the night before at home. I asked him if I could make anything, he said he had it covered. He also checks with each staff member to ask what they would like to drink. No hard alcohol, but beer, coolers, wine even, but most of us get beer. It goes so well with the steak and stuff. Can you tell I love food?

Blake's party was Saturday night. It was at a nice restaurant in town called Boomerang's. The menu was a single page with no need for more choices. It was a great assortment. We also had a chance to have some yummy drinks in between the four courses. The place was packed by 8:00pm, and you could tell they wanted us to get r done and get out. We came to my place and a couple from the party came by for a drink. All in all, a weekend full of food and merriment (perhaps more than necessary of the latter).

So the nicest part of Saturday evening was the little gift I received a few days early. I had bought some costume jewelry to go with my dress, but it hung a little oddly. I was going to wear it, but Blake gave me something to open. It is a beautiful necklace with one of those circle of life charms. I love it, and him.

I have not been able to figure out how to put to pictures below the dialog with captions. If anyone has any helpful hints, please let me know.

A Bedtime Story

I Love You So...

"I love you."
"How much?"
"SO much."
"How much is so?"
"Way, Way MORE than you know..."

I love you as BRILLIANT as each sparkling star,
and as WAY OUT as space, I love you that far.

I love you as GIGANTIC as a great lion's roar,
and as DEEP as the ocean, I love you MUCH more.

"That is a lot," you say, "but HOW did it start"
WHERE did love come from to be in you heart?"

YOU put it there, really, when you and I met.
And I knew for certain WITHOUT you I'd fret.

From MY HEAD to my TOES, I was feeling inside
a devotion to you SO DEEP and SO WIDE.

And now it's ENORMOUS and wonderfully real
and hard to describe HOW MUCH I feel!

I love you as AWESOME as a thunder sky,
and as SOARING as mountains, I love you THAT high.

I love you as SILLY as a puppy dog's kiss,
and as QUIET as midnight, I love you like THIS.

"Do you love me EVERY day?" you ask with doubting awe,
"or does love go UP 'N DOWN like a teetering see saw?"

I love you as STEADY as the earth rounds the sun,
thought SOME days of life, are the FARTHEST from fun.

"Like when you feel MAD?" you ask with distress,
"'cause I've BROKEN the rules or made a BIG mess?
Or , when I'm UNKIND, and your feelings are BLUE,
do you love me ALTHOUGH I do what I do?"

I love you being NICE, and when you're CRANKY, too.
I love you without liking the NAUGHTY things you do.

My 'love you' DOESN'T change like the temper of the days.
It's a CERTAIN kind of thing in many DIFFERENT ways.

You're my SWEETIE, my dear, my SMILE and laughter.
You're my PLAYMATE for always, and my JOY ever after.

Hanging out WITH YOU is where I want to be...
eating ice cream sundaes or watching the TV.

UNDER you umbrella, behind you on a bike
By you and BESIDE you is what I REALLY like.

"Do you love me just AS MUCH when I'm FAR away from home?
Is your loving still THE SAME in distant lands I roam?"

I love you NEAR or FAR. I love you HIGH or LOW.
My love is there with you WHEREVER you may go.

"Even when I'm SICK...and I can't get out of bed?
Do you love me better HEALTHY than with fever in my head?"

I CAN'T IMAGINE life before YOU came along...
me there singing senseless, no MEANING to my song.

Call it MEANT TO BE or simply blessed fate,
you fill my heart WITH LOVE and for that I celebrate.

"I love you."
"How much?"
"SO much."
"How much is 'so'?"
"WAY, WAY MORE than you know..."

written by: Marianne Richmond

We're Jumping For Joy!!!

My girl's gettin married! Adair and I have been friends for more than half our lives. We have shared joys, sorrows, laughter and tears. We have always stayed in touch, met one another's loves, and been there when everything seemed to "fall apart". Adair is a special person for whom I have always had admiration. Her life took a different path allowing her to focus on career rather than family. Well, now it's her turn to be the wonderful stepmother that she is, and have children of her own as well.

I am so very happy for her, and cannot wait for updates on wedding plans.

Anxiety Rears It's Ugly Head

Ever had that tightness in your chest? That feeling that your heart is going to leap right out of your chest and be exposed to the world? As if you cannot catch your breath no matter how hard you try? Thoughts racing through your mind so quickly you can't catch up?

I have generalized anxiety disorder (so says my doctor). There are names for every kind of disorder--have you noticed? It's really just something to call it so you are aware and can work to fix it, or at least live comfortably with it. I have had a hectic 3 years and have certainly had some upsets and stress attached to it all. Overall, I am proud of how well I have done with it. I did take meds for a few months during a particularly difficult patch. I still felt anxious sometimes, but wasn't losing my breath so much. It was under control. I learned how to channel it a bit, and stopped the meds in July. Since then, things have been going pretty well. I can tell when I am stressed because I grit my teeth together making my jaw very tight and sore--often when I am sleeping.

So, today I was sitting at work, thinking about the changes I would like to make in my life for the benifit of my family. And it began--all those signs of the ugliness about to invade my mind and body for a time. Wow! There are all kinds of things happening right now, so I suppose it was bound to happen. I need to upgrade my computer skills, get a better job, and just be happy. Don't get me wrong, I love where I work but will never have a chance to advance there. Just the way it is...gotta move on eventually. Hence, the panic attack. It doesn't always take a large thing to start. Sometimes it is really the smallest of things, but once the thoughts start rolling, it's got me. I just had to purge a little. It is close to sleepy time. Thank you for listening. Goodnight.

Everybody Smile!

I was at the airport one evening waiting to pick someone up, and decided to play a little game. I sat down near the arrival monitors, made eye contact, and smiled at each person who looked in my direction. The results were so very interesting. Some people don't quite know what to make of it, so they give a little close-liped smile, and move on. Others find it quite engaging--and I don't mean in a flirty way. I got so many beautiful smiles back that evening. Made it very worthwhile for me.

Brotherly Love

My boys love one another so very much! There are times, of course, when they fight and torment one another to no end, but they are genuinely loving towards one another more often than not. Today was a fine example of Seth's love for Sidney.

We went to Toys 'R Us this morning as Seth had a $20 gift card and $15 cash from his birthday that was burning a whole. We went into The Disney Store on the way, where they had sales on various items of interest to Sidney. Then it was off to find wrestlers for Seth. He found one within the first 2 minutes in the store, then he started looking for something else. He found a monster truck that he could afford, and also a mini one that he offered to buy his brother. He stood in the checkout for a moment, then asked Sidney if he would rather have something from The Disney Store. He put back his monster truck along with the mini one, bought himself a Rey Mysterio and a pack of gum. I watched in awe as he paid for his purchase and then asked to take Sidney back to pick a toy. He spent the entire remainder of his birthday money on his brother. He wanted him to have something new as well. Sniff...Sniff...Sniff...makes me grateful I have children.

I have included a picture of the two of them together. My sweet boys!

Entertaining Sidney

Sidney loves to use the computer just like his big brother. He has been watching Seth play various little games (snowboarding, monster trucks, etc.) and wanted to play the street skating game today. Seth got him set up, and told him all he had to do was hit these two buttons. I came over to sit with him and watched the guy cruisin along. Seth is standing to my right, Sidney sitting to my left. Seth leans in and whispers, "I picked this game because the guy just goes on his own. Sidney just thinks he's playing". Then he gives me a big smile and a "thumbs up". Oh I wish I could have taken a picture at that moment! Cute!

No Whining Please

I have a funny problem with sick people. Illness makes me feel nervous and helpless. I am good at helping others, especially those close to me, but I have a low tolerance for whiny sick people.

My boyfriend, Blake just had shoulder surgery on Tuesday. I took the day off so that I could take him to the hospital in the morning and be there for him afterwards as well. He has had this surgery before, or a version of it, so he knew before hand just how painful it was going to be. I was prepared for this, but in my attempt to help, I seem to inadvertantly make things worse. For instance: I helped him with his hospital gown and later his arm swelled. The IV needle had moved from the vein and into the tissue causing this swelling. I don't know if I caused it, but I can't help feeling like I may have. See? Then I get nervous, afraid to get close for fear of hurting or causing discomfort. I must say, I am pleasantly surprised with how well he is handling his pain, managing to be pleasant through it all. I had a scare yesterday morning when I called him at the hospital, and he was short-tempered with me. Remember that the relationship is very new, so I take it personally. I thought "oh no!" not a sooky sick man--please!!!!!

He was over his grumpiness by lunchtime. Just impatient to hear from the doctor, go home, and feel better. I was to take him to his parents place last night from the hospital, but he is at my house. The boys aren't back until Monday, so we have a little time where he can rest quietly through the days I am at work and I can help him. I love having him but don't want to feel overwhelmed when the boys bomb in. It works for right now. I did let him know how I feel about whining, and explained that he can be shipped out at any time...fair warning.

He is not a sooky man I am glad to say. He is strong, self-sufficient, and still manages to say the sweetest, most appreciative things through his pain. Thank you Blake. I think I'll keep you.

All Apologies

A very quick post to acknowledge that I have been neglecting to read previous posts before posting again. I get so excited about what I want to say that I fail to notice I have already said it! A sign of my inattention to detail on occasion. Anyhow, for anyone reading, I will try not to let this happen again. Also, I posted one twice. I was at work, and didn't realize it had already posted. K, now I'm done. Have a nice day everyone!

Before and After

Sidney moves a lot in his sleep. He often climbs into bed with me in the middle of the night, and he squirms and squiggles like you wouldn't believe. I decided to take a couple of pics Sunday night, thought I would share them.

Indoor Weekend Activities

Here are some pics from the weekend...forts are so much fun!

Me N' Tracy

This is me and my cousin Tracy. She's visiting today, and the boys are at a birthday party. So lovely to have some quiet time with her.

I call this one C & T Models

Advice on Bedtime Routines

Everyone is always telling me that no matter how much Sidney (my 3 year old) calls for me, and moves around in his room at night, just ignore it, and he will eventually fall asleep.

Sometimes I don't think people believe just how busy this child is. He went to bed at 8:00pm with minimal problems, and I hear him moving around, but against my better judgement, I ignored it. At about 9:00pm, he comes up the stairs with a suspicious white creamy substance on his face. I immediately recognised the substance as gerber brand diaper rash ointment, which I saved, but no longer use as he is fully potty trained. I asked him why he was upstairs, and he said his dresser and bed were stinky, so he was fixing it. Ohhhhh godness! What a treat!

There was cream covering the headboard of his bed, top of his toybox, and the top drawer of his dresser. It really only took a few minutes to clean up, and I had to turn my head because I must admit, it was a little funny. He tried to help clean it with me, but I was faster than he, so he proceeded to pitch a fit because he didn't get to help. I calmly told him that he had done enough. Time for bed now...

The joys of parenting...enough to make you pull out your hair sometimes.

It's Amazing What You Can Get Used To

I have been sharing custody of my boys with my ex-husband for 2 years now. We each get them Monday to Monday. We exchange at the end of the work day on Monday, therefore avoiding any situations where we have to go to one-another's homes. Hmmmm...generally, things go very smoothly and the arrangement is nice for both of us. I have gotten flack for this choice, so listen up!

These are the real options in that situation: I could fight and have them all the time (with visitation rights to their father), or I could give up half their lives so that they can be with both of us. I chose the latter. I really believe this is the best choice for our children, and let's face it, no matter how we feel about one another, the children are the first priority. Their happiness is paramount.

I remember signing the separation agreement, and reading the words over and over again, knowing that this was going to make everything very permanant--no going back!!! I have my children here in my home every other week. I have every OTHER week all to myself. Wow!!! What does a mama do with so much spare time? You get used to it...believe me. You think you never will, and in some ways I never really have. I think about them when the aren't here as I go about my days, but it is ok. I know that they are safe and well cared for with their father. I know I will see them soon.

So what does a lady do? She spends a lot of time with friends, or alone in peaceful silence, or gets to know the new man in her life...sounds nice to me! Time to contemplate choices and take things slow without upsetting the delicate balance of my children's lives and emotions.

I am happy, and it is amazing what you can get used to.

Splurge Hand Bags

There is a new store on Dresden Row in Halifax. It's called Splurge Hand Bags. They have the most awesome slogan, makes me laugh every time I hear it on the radio...

Splurge! Cause if the Princess ain't happy, ain't nobody happy!

I love it!!!

Hello, My Name is Corinna

Me again,

I believe there are few people who actually like their name through life. We always want what we don't have, so it stands to reason I guess.

My name is Corinna (pronounced Co-reen-aa). I have had life-long trouble getting people to pronounce it correctly. I often would get called Coreen, or Corinne, people seemed to have trouble. Of course, my older brother's friends called me "Corinna cat chow", which didn't improve my feelings towards it. My most excellent childhood friend and sister Eve (who uses her middle name, incidentally) started calling me "Cori". When moved in with her family after my mother passed in 1985 (I was 13), Eve introduced me to everyone as "Cori" and it stuck.

At various points in my adult life I have tried to introduce myself as Corinna, however there always seemed to be someone around who knew me as Cori, or people who couldn't say it right. Cori it is--makes life easier and I don't dislike it.

Thank you to my sweetie who met me as "Cori" but calls me "Corinna".

My new noisy neighbors

Oh how I miss my neighbor Tammy! I just moved into my little townhouse in July, but I got talking to her outside through the summer. She worked nights, had a very quiet roommate, and life was good. We could chat over the patios while we sipped beer on occasion, exchanging pleasantries, and tidbits about our lives...

Well unfortunately, she had to move. She was losing her roommate, and she couldn't do it on her own. Enter...the new neighbors...da da da!

I really don't know or care what the deal is...but there sure is alot of screaming and yelling going on between 2 women...cops are outside now, gathering information I suppose. Photos trown all over my lawn. My son is coming home from a sleepover, so he will be curious of course. I just wish they would stop and let me enjoy my 3 year old's naptime in peace!

A little about us...

just found out the posting pics thing, so here we go...

my beautiful children

Seth


Sidney

All of us together

I will get better with centering everything...patience...remember Cor, patience

What am I doing Here?

Sooo...I have never done anything like this before, I consider myself somewhat computer/internet illiterate, although I work with a computer all day. Here I am wondering if this post is even gonna work, as I can't even seem to get a picture in my profile! Speaking of...I am going to try and post this now, figure out the URL stuff. To be continued.