Tagged in a meme

The lovely sexywhispers has tagged me in a meme. In her own special way she has taken it to a sexy level. I think I'll do it both ways just for fun.

The rules:
1. Link to the person that tagged you
2. Post the rules on your blog
3. Share six non-important things/habits/quirks about yourself
4. Tag six random people at the end of your post by linking to their blogs
5. Let each random person know they have been tagged by leaving a comment on their website.
6. Let your tagger know when your entry is up.

So here we go then...

1. quirk: I always screw the lid back onto a pop bottle too tightly. Sometimes I really struggle to re-open them. Little running joke with Seth and I.

2. non-important thing: My hands get so dry and sore in the winter. I have to apply cream several times a day.

3. habit: I have a bagel and a coffee every morning for breakfast.

4. quirk: I am pretty stubborn. Once I get an idea in my head I can't stop thinking about it.

5. non-important thing: I'm clumsy and I give myself mild abrasions on a regular basis.

6. habit: I will spend time (sometimes almost 2 hours) straightening my hair simply because I enjoy the warmth and I like for it to be very straight.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

1. sexy quirk: I need lots of random kisses and hugs.

2. non-important sexual thing: I like to cuddle, but I definitely need my own space to sleep.

3. sexy habit: I get very caught up in passionate kisses.

4. sex quirk: I am a boobie/butt flasher

5. non-important sexual thing: I can't think of anything unimportant other than the sleeping thing. It all matters.

6. sexy habit: While in a relationship, I tend to get cranky if I don't get sex at least a couple of times a week. Preferably more, thank you.

I would kinda like to tag, but I'm really not sure who's still keeping up here since my little hiatus. If you would like to do this please comment and let me know.

I'll send messages to the following bloggers though:

suzel's sass
verbal sid
mommato2
passion of the dale

Adjusting to the newness of it all

I have been wanting to write, yet not feeling like actually doing it. I have been a negligent blogger and reader lately. I try to take a peek at a few, but just haven't really been into it much. Everything has changed. Things feel so different and new. I am beginning to feel happier inside. I haven't cried in several days. This feels good. I find that I have withdrawn somewhat though. I often choose to spend time alone instead of going out and I don't even feel bad about it. I am just adjusting.

The boys are, in fact spending more time at their father's. Once I had that accident and everything I just didn't have any more fight. Please understand I did not give up my boys or anything foolish like that. They are coming for some weekends and for Christmas of course. It's so unnatural seeming to not have anyone here to care for. Just me. I will have you know I have been eating more and feeling stronger too. I am healing. Still sad sometimes, but better for sure. I have already secured our permanent residence for January 1st. Everything is coming together and I am feeling positive I assure you.

Suddenly I have all this time yet nothing to do with it all. Sometimes I don't even want to do anything. Not even this. I just think. I try to get used to the silence. This is such a temporary thing and it will be over before I can turn, so I can totally deal, but I am still overcome by the feeling of newness.

I happen to be living close to my friend/co-worker and we are going to walk together. It's getting pretty cold outside, but it's still nice. I do have snowpants if it gets that cold. Weather can change on a dime here in Nova Scotia. Just gotta stay warm is all.

A post from the Sassy Suzel

So my friend, Princess in the House, asked if I wanted to write a post for her blog. I was sent these cute “children’s funnies” today, so I thought I’d share.

1. NUDITY A little boy got lost at the YMCA and found himself in the women's locker room. When he was spotted, the room burst into shrieks, with ladies grabbing towels and running for cover. The little boy watched in amazement an d then asked, 'What's the matter, haven't you ever seen a little boy before?'

2. OPINION On the first day of school, a first-grader handed his teacher a note from his mother. The note read, 'The opinions expressed by this child are not necessarily those of his parents.'

3. RELIGION A little boy opened the big family Bible. He was fascinated as he fingered through the old pages. Suddenly, something fell out of the Bible. He picked up the object and looked at it. What he saw was an old leaf that had been pressed in between the pages.'Mama, look what I found,' the boy called out.'What have you got there, dear?'With astonishment in the young boy's voice, he answered, 'I think it's Adam's underwear!'

4) POLICE It was the end of the day when a police officer parked his van in front of the station. Gathering his equipment, his K-9 partner, Jake, was barking. A little boy walked up and asked the officer “Is that a dog you got back there?““Yes it is” the officer replied. Puzzled, the boy looked at officer and then back in the van and finally asked, “What'd he do?”

Mariposa's Haiku

Back to My Future

it's over now, it was fun while it lasted,

that i've come to accept

why it happened, how it happened and what happened

dont hold meaning now

it's time to move on

i've got my sanity back

and i'm keeping it

Mariposa inspires me with her posts every week and I am so glad she decided to write something that ties in so well to me right now.

My Addiction

Princess here. Just letting you know that this post has been brought to you by the classically witty and often sarcastic Sid...all the way from South Africa. Enjoy!

Hi, my name is Sid and I’m an addict. They say that admitting you have a problem is the first step to recovery.

Well, I’ve been clean for two months now. I’ve told everyone that I no longer constantly crave the high I once experienced when I’d had my first taste, just over two years ago. I had convinced myself that I had finally found inner peace and that I could do this by myself. I was determined to beat this. I couldn’t erase the image of comforting my future son or the image of me wrapped up securely in the arms of my future husband, from constantly entering my mind. And I knew that the only way that I could ever attain any of this, the life I have always desired and yearned for, was if I gave up this habit of degradation. So I quit cold turkey and everything was going along just fine until yesterday.

All it took was one little whiff of the good stuff and before I knew it I had fallen off the wagon. Here I am at work at 8 in the morning and all I could think of is when I can get my next fix. My need is so bad that I neglected to do any actual work. Instead I spent all of my time thinking of ways to raise enough cash to score. Various schemes entered my head, each one as ludicrous as the next. My bursary would only be coming in next year and I couldn’t wait that long. I need cash now! No the only option left to me was to sell my kidneys. I hear you can make R10 000, which is all I really needed for a plane ticket to Pakistan. Yes my friends I am addicted to travelling.

Now I bet all of you are probably wondering what a charismatic, beautiful, intelligent, eloquent, hilarious, humble girl like me could possibly want to see or do in Pakistan. And I wish I was capable of giving you an answer that gave the impression that I had spend hours reading up on the history and culture of Pakistan. But the truth is that I am a dipshit who took one look at the following picture before deciding that I JUST HAVE TO GO to Pakistan even if it meant selling my body – and inevitably my soul – to raise the cash for the trip.

Now I know that many people would say that I am brave (code word for crazy) to attempt crossing a rickety bridge like that. The thing is that I don’t classify myself as brave (mentally unstable). Everything scares me. Everything! And I know that if I ever make it to that bridge I’d be cursing like nobody’s mother fucking business but I’d force myself to go through with it. I can see myself now, standing there, trying my utmost to control my breathing, wanting nothing more than to turn around. But I’ll do it because every time I do something that scares the shit out of me (not literally) I gain something. There’s this amazing feeling of triumph because you haven’t allowed fear to control the way you live life.

The thing is that I know me. I am the most fickle person you will ever meet. If I don’t follow through with this in the next couple of months I’ll never go. Remember Ecuador? Two years ago I proclaimed that Ecuador was my “destiny”. (Yes, I use words like destiny and fate. Yes, I occasionally read my horoscopes and watch Oprah aka Our Saviour. What? Don’t judge!) Now if you were to ask me about Ecuador my reply will be a very articulate “bleh”. I am simply incapable of sustaining enthusiasm for anything for longer than four months. That’s just who I am and I make no apologies for this.

Alone but not lonely

Through the course of my longest relationship (with the boys' father) I was no stranger to being alone. He went away sometimes for months at a time. I was accustomed to alone time. Of course, I did have my child/children to keep me occupied and focused and also the financial security and knowledge of the return of said partner, which made it all right.

I have always floated from one relationship to another. I love to be loved and need to love others. I am very nervous of strangers and usually make a choice to date someone I have known and become friends with. I can't explain it, I'm just telling you how it is. My problem is *well, perhaps there is more than just 1, but only this one for today* that I seem to lose myself in relationships. It is my nature to please others. I begin to neglect my own thoughts and feelings in some ways and don't always notice until it's too late.

Now I am alone. Yes, I have my children and they are a great comfort because I will always get to love them and they will always return it. We are a family...but wait! I have to share them with their father. I only get them half the time. It took me years to adjust and look at the positive of that situation (although I would never have done it any differently). I always looked at it like I am missing half of their lives. I was able to deal with it because there was always a man in my life to help me adjust. Someone for me to love and care for but now I truly am alone.

I am always looking at the time. *watch out! the princess is on a verbal roll now!* I have always been very time conscious...always. Mostly because I always have someone to take care of, someone to get home to. Does that make sense? I was out with Becca today and for the first time in a very long time, I had absolutely no schedule...and I was actually willing to put on some make-up, do my hair and socialize for a change. I have been spending an awful lot of time at home by myself when the boys are gone. I have been doing a great deal of thinking. Sometimes I come home and don't even turn on the tv or music all evening. Sometimes I just play solitaire and turn things over in my mind. Sometimes I pace and tidy up the house as I walk around. I have just recently gotten back into watching some of my shows. Just a few weeks ago I didn't have enough focus on any show to repeat back what was just said. What I crave though, is human contact. I love phone calls. My girls call and check up on me, or more often I call them when I feel like gabbing. It's ok to just talk on the phone because I don't always actually want to have someone here with me. I feel very sad and I still sometimes cry, but it's not bad...just really different. I check my blog/fb/e-mail all the time. I don't know what I'm waiting for though, it's just a bizarre little habit I have started. I suspect I will obsess about it less and less as time passes. I think at first I would check in hopes of hearing from "the ex"...but I don't look for that anymore. It's not that I don't miss him because I do, but I have a responsibility myself and to my boys and things to do with my friends. I have a job and a life to lead and that's just what I plan to do.

I have been giving a lot of thought to blogging and what I love about it. I love the interaction with all of you. I love that I will sometimes get a call or e-mail from a friend who read something and wanted to comment on it too. It makes me feel good when I get feedback because I love attention...I AM a princess don't ya know! haha...Actually, I also love the feedback because perspective is good. Experience is good. People are interesting and it's cool to connect about feelings with others. I have come in contact with some amazing people during my life and also here on my blog travels. I wouldn't have it any other way.

I have asked a few fine ladies to do guest posts for me. I received a great one from Sid which I plan to post on Monday. I might even wait until Tuesday because it would be a shame if you all missed it! Stay tuned.

kisses,

the princess

What the H-E-double hockey sticks should I do with all these boxes?

Holy crap there's a lot of stuff to pack in this house. It's my first packing day since it's a long weekend (Happy Thanksgiving by the way...let's hear it for Canada!) and I am alone for my day off. I set some boxes upright and taped them strong. I have removed things from drawers (starting in the living room) and all I have to do is get at it.

Here's the problem...I don't want to! Packing sucks. I always have trouble getting started. There is a loose prong on the back of my tv so my plan to watch last week's CSI Miami and Prison Break as I pack is kaput. I've got no picture. I can listen to music but it just isn't the same. Boy do I hate a thwarted plan.

Note to self : *consider getting a new tv this spring*.

K, so I just got a call from Midge and she gave me a pep talk. I can't believe it's already so late in the day! Gawd, I am still obsessing in my head about the tv as I write this post! I have to end this and get started. I made a pot of coffee and took every book off the bookshelf on my way back to the computer. I have to separate things as some will go with us to my friends place, while the rest will go into storage. I have to pack all my everyday needs last obviously. I can live without the nic-nacs and pictures for the next while. Here I go...wish me luck. :)

Busted! And Now It's Off To Blogger Prison

Shame on all you bloggers for making your posts so appealing that I simply cannot resist sneaking a peek at work!

I run 2 computers in my office space. One is a '98 that I use for our extremely comprehensive DOS based accounting system (that my boss doesn't want to let go of), and my XP where I run everything else. I just got the XP last month and am now networked with all the sales/management instead of only my accounts manager. So this morning everything froze up on both systems. I have this connector that allows me to flip from system to system, so I wasn't really alarmed. The mouse wouldn't work. How annoying is it to see 1 stupid box come up that says "no mouse is detected" and another stupid box that says "click here to solve problem"...what the hell? Anyhow, other people had to get involved and the external IT guy was brought in. As I was leaving to meet my ex and Sidney for primary orientation, my boss is saying so what causes this? Shit...shit...shit. And off I go to my meeting.

When I got back everything was working fine and I had a lot of work to do because I took tomorrow off to volunteer before Relay. I went online to get a postal code and saw that my history was out and my blogsite was gone from my list of sites on site bar. No one said anything about it to me so I don't think it caused any problem (although perhaps my signing into something can make a difference?) but now I know someone had a peekie-deek at what I'd been up to. Not all that exciting really, just looking at blogs and I did a post the other day. Ah well, Monday's another day. I will lay off. It's just...so...difficult because I can't get enough.

Introducing Gertrude

Ok, so because I am slightly vain, I bitched about my sore eye a lot last night. The boyfriend and I were making jokes about it all evening. I went to plug in the light in the living room, looked at him and said "should I leave the light off, maybe? keep it dim so we aren't distracted by it?". Then he says "you should just punch yourself in the eye so it looks like you got in a fight!", which I admit, would be amusing but I don't like pain that much.

I woke up this morning and my eye was swollen. I didn't even bother with the make-up. Wouldn't have made any difference anyway. It immediately made me think of my blogger friend Catherinette who calls her blemishes "Simone". I just went looking for her post with the stick lady Simone, but couldn't find it. I have always called mine Gertrude...same name as the maid barbie (the cheap ones whose limbs don't bend) I played with as a child. It also made me wish I could wear an eye patch, but there's a downside to that according to Pistols. I thought about that and laughed some more. It will all be over soon.

Winter Blahs

I always get really cranky when winter is close to an end. I really start to crave the warmth and can hardly wait for walking weather (I know, a true walker wouldn't care, but it's damn cold out there). Weather here (is it is everywhere, really) is so unpredictable that it could snow in May or even June. Who knows? Anyhow, I always feel lazy and unproductive during the months of February and March. I don't feel like doing anything once the boys are in bed. I am tired and my brain doesn't want much strain. Sometimes when I blog I wait until I know "exactly" what I want to say. I don't fly by the seat of my pants well. I am a planner through and through. I often have amusing things to talk about, especially when the boys are here because there's always chaos and craziness. Some of it is actually quite funny. By the time I finish all the family stuff, I just don't feel like a flowery speech. I need to loosen up more. I need to just write a couple sentences so that I don't forget to tell you what's going on here. I am hopelessly caught in the winter blahs. All my clothes are tight. I need to go back to working out. Lazy. This is what I've been doing on the weekends...

I won't even lie, I really do enjoy this!

Confessions of a Pouty Princess

Sometimes I wish I had the nerve to write some of my truest inner thoughts for you all to read. I was thinking last night how cool it would be to have a secret blog...then it occured to me that I should just write in a journal or a diary. I have things banging around in my head...too many sometimes. I float around doing all the things I am responsible for, all the things required of me, have a little fun in between, but I feel like there is some deep need to get things off my chest. I suppose I am feeling a little more courageous having found all of these new blogs, but perhaps I am afraid of: (1) hurting someone's feelings (2) pissing someone off (3) putting my relationship in jeapordy. Not so much the last, as I would be truly surprised if he looks here or would even comment to me about it if he did.

Confession: I think that he is slightly intimidated that I write here because he thinks I share too much information and also because he believes I am smarter than him...did I really say that? I have 7 years on him and have lived a far different life, that's all. It's not like I have any university degrees or anything. I am who I am. I just wanna be free to be me. I just wanna feel good about it at the same time. Sound fair? I think so.

Zoning out

My sister uses the term "time sucking vortex" to describe facebook. I have to agree with her on that one. I just spent over an hour labeling posts. Talk about time sucking! I am of 2 minds about whether time was actually "wasted". What I love though, is that it becomes more organized and easy to read. I consider time spent on my blog worthwhile, but imagine my surprise when I realized quite a while into my labeling process that all I had to do was click the box and scroll down my label list instead of actually opening up each post to type them in. Little slow on the get-go sometimes, that's all.

You know? The boys aren't even here, but I think I might break out the guitar hero.

Curbing My Enthusiasm

I happened across a November "Blog Of Note" that I absolutely LOVE. I have been learning so much about being glamorous from this wonderful blog. G.G., you are so creative and have such fabulous fashion sense. Through hers, I found another lady who keeps me captivated with her highly entertaining posts.

I get so enthusiastic about things that I enjoy. When I love something (similar to the facebook addiction) I get so excited and can't help thinking/talking about whatever the new thing is that I have found. (Incidentally, I see this same trait in my 4 year old~~yeah, I said it, he's got my personality~~ we'll see where that goes). I keep telling my guy about blog stuff and he's like...ah ha, yeah, or cool...you know. I get this way whenever I discover a new blog. I don't always put them on my peeps list, but I keep some on my home computer favorites list. In a way, it's a bit like meeting a new person and just learning what they're about. I am having a lot more fun with my own blog due to this new found enthusiasm to re-discover the joys of blogging. One night over the holidays, I sat here making all kinds of changes while I was drunk. CRAZY funny... really. I wanted the little "rockin' blogger girl" picture, but couldn't even think about where else to look for it, so I stole it from Lady. If I am not mistaken, I actually sent a little apology, but I am not certain she got it, or if I managed to send it...I was intoxicated you know! Thank you all for your sweet and very helpful comments.

I Can't Even Help Myself...I Must Look!

I look over my blog entries quite frequently. As I give the link to various facebook friends, I look again to see if anyone has left a comment. I become more sure of myself in writing, yet when I see no comments, the irrational part of my brain says that not many people are reading it. That may well be the case, and even still I love to write my posts and tell my little tales. It has been an interesting experience over the past year, just allowing myself to say what I want and to let my family and friends into my everyday life even though they are far away.

Now we get to obsessive part...you know where it says "view my complete profile"? Well, I look occasionally to see if the number on my profile page has changed to determine if anyone is looking at it. I swear, at least a third of the number is ME looking at my own profile! What is that? I suppose it's because I am really beginning to enjoy it more and I want people to see it, and let me know what they think also. I have sent the link to some of my closest friends, and they say..."Oh yeah, I meant to look at that", or "I did look at it once, and it reads like you talk". For a while, I didn't feel like writing because I didn't feel like it was important or interesting enough for people to read, but after reading some other blogs, I realized that it doesn't really matter at all. Everyone is different and unique. I am pleased with myself just for making the commitment to write on a regular basis. I am loosening up and keeping in mind that just because people don't make comments doesn't mean that they don't read it, and even if only a handful of people do, I am glad that to have them in my little world. So thank you!

Obsess much, ya think?

A Week In My Life

I really just began writing this blog as a means to keep family members up to date on my life. I have been reading my sister Eve's for a couple of years now, and learn so much from her blog and those of the bloggers she loves. I finally took some time to really explore some of these "blogs of note". I am learning not to second guess my posts--that is to write the ones I am thinking about instead of discarding them as passing thoughts.

My time gets eaten up so fast. I work 8-5 Monday to Friday. I get up at 6:00am to get myself and the boys ready for school and daycare. Obviously on the weeks the boys are with their father, I can sleep a little longer. I have been thinking I may start doing pilates in the morning instead of after supper...but I digress...After work I pick up the boys and come home to cook supper. Sometimes I come home from work at lunchtime and get a head-start on it. I can have veggies ready to cook and meat in the crockpot some days. I sort of try to plan the weekday meals with some good holsom ones and some easy ones. I try to stay away from junkie meals like take-out or kd and hotdogs (although it is a Saturday afternoon favorite every second week). By the time supper is done and dishes are cleared away, it is time for play and mama's clean up. Then on to baths, homework, bedtime snacks and a little quiet time then Sid goes to bed at 8:00, and Seth 8:30 (then he reads for at least 15 minutes). I have incorporated exercise in there for myself as well. Usually I do it right after supper when the boys are playing and having desert. If I am really lucky and the evening goes well, I can actually sit down and watch a show at 9:00. Usually I tape everything then I am sure not to miss anything.

Weekends are slower going for us. I don't make alot of plans in general. Seth often has a sleepover here with a friend and we will run errands or go to the playground now that the weather is nicer. The boys are reaching an age where I can get up, get them settled in with a show and some breakfast and head back to bed for a while. I don't sleep soundly, mind, but it is restful just to spend a little extra time relaxing. Before I turn twice I am back to Sunday night. It is now 8:15. I don't have the boys here tonight (just have to get me ready). I still have to shower, straighten my hair and iron some clothes for the morning. Oh! Lunch would be good too. Hmmm...there are a few choices. I will have to think about it some more.

I am grateful to have a good job that supports me and my children, but do I ever wish sometimes that I could spend every day with them. Not to have to work, you know? I miss so many little things. I must say though that I have faith in the childcare facilities I have chosen. They take good care of my boys and provide excellent learning environments for them. Life is what it is and all we can do is make the best of every moment. I am working on not wishing so much time away waiting for the next weekend.

I'm So Confused!

I switched to the new blogger system and now I cannot add photos, post comments, or get things in general to work on here. I admit I am not a computer savvy lady so that accounts for a lot of it but come on now! Isn't this supposed to be easier? I got so discouraged that I just haven't felt like posting--well, that and I have been sick with the flu.

I have had lots of little things on my mind. I have thought about writing my thoughts down but sometimes I am just as happy to keep it to myself. I tend to hibernate a little in the wintertime. I come home from work and cuddle up on the couch with a blanket (when i don't have the boys that is). Sometimes I play solitaire or something on the computer, but past that my interest wanes.

All is well with me and my boys. They are with their father at the moment. Blake and I were talking to them last evening, and Blake told each of them that he loved them. I was very touched even though I already know that he does. It felt so good to hear him say it to them both.

ps: Thank you Kelly, I will try and figure it out. Mostly a patience problem.

All Apologies

A very quick post to acknowledge that I have been neglecting to read previous posts before posting again. I get so excited about what I want to say that I fail to notice I have already said it! A sign of my inattention to detail on occasion. Anyhow, for anyone reading, I will try not to let this happen again. Also, I posted one twice. I was at work, and didn't realize it had already posted. K, now I'm done. Have a nice day everyone!

A little about us...

just found out the posting pics thing, so here we go...

my beautiful children

Seth


Sidney

All of us together

I will get better with centering everything...patience...remember Cor, patience

What am I doing Here?

Sooo...I have never done anything like this before, I consider myself somewhat computer/internet illiterate, although I work with a computer all day. Here I am wondering if this post is even gonna work, as I can't even seem to get a picture in my profile! Speaking of...I am going to try and post this now, figure out the URL stuff. To be continued.