The redemption of the tooth fairy

Yes, I am really lame at keeping up here. In truth, there has been a lot of good going on in my life but I've not been sharing here. Not fair. Sorry about that. I'd really like to ease back into princess mode. It's funny learning how to be single. I've never done it for any length of time in my life before this, so it's a big change. I like it. I love being my own boss...not that I was bowing down before, but certainly always eager to please. I'm learning to trust in my decisions and not second guess myself. I've always been responsible and capable of making good choices for myself and my family, but I have always consulted...always.

You know? Those 2 months without the boys changed me. I'd literally never in my life spent that many consecutive days alone. So strange. I thought a lot, I learned to be alone and be comfortable with it. I stressed less about my housework, learned to relax a little bit...I still believe the boys would have done fine with the transition along with me, but it is what it is and it's all done now. As I've said, Sidney has been difficult to deal with at times, but overall he's still his sunny self. Seth is growing so tall and beginning to take interest in older things. We enjoy time together watching "The Big Bang Theory"...our favorite. We discuss music and watch videos together sometimes. It's nice to become his friend, someone he trusts to share his thoughts as well. I'm a happy woman.

There is a little residual drama from the fall. I'm being sued by the landlord from the townhouse. I did break my lease, as you know, but it's for a large sum of cash and for many things I disagree strongly with. My hearing at the Tenancy Board is coming up in a couple of weeks. I've got a couple of people coming as witnesses and I've written a response letter which I faxed a few days ago. All I can do is wait now. I've gotten a little discouraged from time to time considering how big the effects of this...the breakup, the move, the pain...really are. How much it's effected everything. We'll see how it all goes. I've come out of a dark place in my life with a much stronger mindset. I won't be fooled again my friends. I'm doing this my way now. It's all about the princess.

Tracy and Baden are coming for the weekend. I'm so excited! Making a big turkey tomorrow and all the trimmings. I've got the boys right through until Monday morning...sweet!

A little over a year ago, I wrote this post when Seth lost a tooth. I'm not so good at remembering to do the tooth/money exchange. I will think of it when they go to bed, then forget by the time I go to bed. Sidney last his first tooth a couple of weeks ago and I forgot AGAIN! I snuck in after he'd gotten up in the morning and he just figured she came late. :) So, yesterday, they EACH lost a tooth! I fear Seth will eventually need braces. He has teeth growing up over the others...you know how that sometimes happens. Anyhow, since both boys had lost teeth, it was essential that I remember to play tooth fairy. I'm pleased to say that I managed to do it with finesse. Both boys are happy this morning.

~very enthusiastic about losing his first tooth~

~his shirt says: "My Mom Is #1"~

I will take some pictures of the boys over the weekend so you can see how big they have gotten. I'd really like to get Tracy to take pics of the 3 of us also. I don't have enough of those.

Happy Easter Everyone!

kisses

the princess

RRRRR! why do the words get all scrunched like that? I've edited it 3 times, and still all stuck together.

Tagged in a meme

The lovely sexywhispers has tagged me in a meme. In her own special way she has taken it to a sexy level. I think I'll do it both ways just for fun.

The rules:
1. Link to the person that tagged you
2. Post the rules on your blog
3. Share six non-important things/habits/quirks about yourself
4. Tag six random people at the end of your post by linking to their blogs
5. Let each random person know they have been tagged by leaving a comment on their website.
6. Let your tagger know when your entry is up.

So here we go then...

1. quirk: I always screw the lid back onto a pop bottle too tightly. Sometimes I really struggle to re-open them. Little running joke with Seth and I.

2. non-important thing: My hands get so dry and sore in the winter. I have to apply cream several times a day.

3. habit: I have a bagel and a coffee every morning for breakfast.

4. quirk: I am pretty stubborn. Once I get an idea in my head I can't stop thinking about it.

5. non-important thing: I'm clumsy and I give myself mild abrasions on a regular basis.

6. habit: I will spend time (sometimes almost 2 hours) straightening my hair simply because I enjoy the warmth and I like for it to be very straight.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

1. sexy quirk: I need lots of random kisses and hugs.

2. non-important sexual thing: I like to cuddle, but I definitely need my own space to sleep.

3. sexy habit: I get very caught up in passionate kisses.

4. sex quirk: I am a boobie/butt flasher

5. non-important sexual thing: I can't think of anything unimportant other than the sleeping thing. It all matters.

6. sexy habit: While in a relationship, I tend to get cranky if I don't get sex at least a couple of times a week. Preferably more, thank you.

I would kinda like to tag, but I'm really not sure who's still keeping up here since my little hiatus. If you would like to do this please comment and let me know.

I'll send messages to the following bloggers though:

suzel's sass
verbal sid
mommato2
passion of the dale

Adjusting to the newness of it all

I have been wanting to write, yet not feeling like actually doing it. I have been a negligent blogger and reader lately. I try to take a peek at a few, but just haven't really been into it much. Everything has changed. Things feel so different and new. I am beginning to feel happier inside. I haven't cried in several days. This feels good. I find that I have withdrawn somewhat though. I often choose to spend time alone instead of going out and I don't even feel bad about it. I am just adjusting.

The boys are, in fact spending more time at their father's. Once I had that accident and everything I just didn't have any more fight. Please understand I did not give up my boys or anything foolish like that. They are coming for some weekends and for Christmas of course. It's so unnatural seeming to not have anyone here to care for. Just me. I will have you know I have been eating more and feeling stronger too. I am healing. Still sad sometimes, but better for sure. I have already secured our permanent residence for January 1st. Everything is coming together and I am feeling positive I assure you.

Suddenly I have all this time yet nothing to do with it all. Sometimes I don't even want to do anything. Not even this. I just think. I try to get used to the silence. This is such a temporary thing and it will be over before I can turn, so I can totally deal, but I am still overcome by the feeling of newness.

I happen to be living close to my friend/co-worker and we are going to walk together. It's getting pretty cold outside, but it's still nice. I do have snowpants if it gets that cold. Weather can change on a dime here in Nova Scotia. Just gotta stay warm is all.

Healing with Twinkle

My friend's place is very nice. She has each room painted in a different earth tone. She has a lot of candle holders and sconces and some white lights above the china cabinet for soft evening light. She also has them all around the fence of the backyard. There's this funky little hanging lamp in the bedroom that has little stars and moons cut out and that's where the light shines though. Perhaps I need to take a picture of it to show you. Soothing and soft. Ahhhhh

The boys are coming home tomorrow and my cousin and her son are visiting as well. I am really looking forward to a weekend with my family. This is a healing place my friends. And that's just what I am beginning to do. Re-read this post if you have another moment. The process has begun.

A post from the Sassy Suzel

So my friend, Princess in the House, asked if I wanted to write a post for her blog. I was sent these cute “children’s funnies” today, so I thought I’d share.

1. NUDITY A little boy got lost at the YMCA and found himself in the women's locker room. When he was spotted, the room burst into shrieks, with ladies grabbing towels and running for cover. The little boy watched in amazement an d then asked, 'What's the matter, haven't you ever seen a little boy before?'

2. OPINION On the first day of school, a first-grader handed his teacher a note from his mother. The note read, 'The opinions expressed by this child are not necessarily those of his parents.'

3. RELIGION A little boy opened the big family Bible. He was fascinated as he fingered through the old pages. Suddenly, something fell out of the Bible. He picked up the object and looked at it. What he saw was an old leaf that had been pressed in between the pages.'Mama, look what I found,' the boy called out.'What have you got there, dear?'With astonishment in the young boy's voice, he answered, 'I think it's Adam's underwear!'

4) POLICE It was the end of the day when a police officer parked his van in front of the station. Gathering his equipment, his K-9 partner, Jake, was barking. A little boy walked up and asked the officer “Is that a dog you got back there?““Yes it is” the officer replied. Puzzled, the boy looked at officer and then back in the van and finally asked, “What'd he do?”

Alone but not lonely

Through the course of my longest relationship (with the boys' father) I was no stranger to being alone. He went away sometimes for months at a time. I was accustomed to alone time. Of course, I did have my child/children to keep me occupied and focused and also the financial security and knowledge of the return of said partner, which made it all right.

I have always floated from one relationship to another. I love to be loved and need to love others. I am very nervous of strangers and usually make a choice to date someone I have known and become friends with. I can't explain it, I'm just telling you how it is. My problem is *well, perhaps there is more than just 1, but only this one for today* that I seem to lose myself in relationships. It is my nature to please others. I begin to neglect my own thoughts and feelings in some ways and don't always notice until it's too late.

Now I am alone. Yes, I have my children and they are a great comfort because I will always get to love them and they will always return it. We are a family...but wait! I have to share them with their father. I only get them half the time. It took me years to adjust and look at the positive of that situation (although I would never have done it any differently). I always looked at it like I am missing half of their lives. I was able to deal with it because there was always a man in my life to help me adjust. Someone for me to love and care for but now I truly am alone.

I am always looking at the time. *watch out! the princess is on a verbal roll now!* I have always been very time conscious...always. Mostly because I always have someone to take care of, someone to get home to. Does that make sense? I was out with Becca today and for the first time in a very long time, I had absolutely no schedule...and I was actually willing to put on some make-up, do my hair and socialize for a change. I have been spending an awful lot of time at home by myself when the boys are gone. I have been doing a great deal of thinking. Sometimes I come home and don't even turn on the tv or music all evening. Sometimes I just play solitaire and turn things over in my mind. Sometimes I pace and tidy up the house as I walk around. I have just recently gotten back into watching some of my shows. Just a few weeks ago I didn't have enough focus on any show to repeat back what was just said. What I crave though, is human contact. I love phone calls. My girls call and check up on me, or more often I call them when I feel like gabbing. It's ok to just talk on the phone because I don't always actually want to have someone here with me. I feel very sad and I still sometimes cry, but it's not bad...just really different. I check my blog/fb/e-mail all the time. I don't know what I'm waiting for though, it's just a bizarre little habit I have started. I suspect I will obsess about it less and less as time passes. I think at first I would check in hopes of hearing from "the ex"...but I don't look for that anymore. It's not that I don't miss him because I do, but I have a responsibility myself and to my boys and things to do with my friends. I have a job and a life to lead and that's just what I plan to do.

I have been giving a lot of thought to blogging and what I love about it. I love the interaction with all of you. I love that I will sometimes get a call or e-mail from a friend who read something and wanted to comment on it too. It makes me feel good when I get feedback because I love attention...I AM a princess don't ya know! haha...Actually, I also love the feedback because perspective is good. Experience is good. People are interesting and it's cool to connect about feelings with others. I have come in contact with some amazing people during my life and also here on my blog travels. I wouldn't have it any other way.

I have asked a few fine ladies to do guest posts for me. I received a great one from Sid which I plan to post on Monday. I might even wait until Tuesday because it would be a shame if you all missed it! Stay tuned.

kisses,

the princess

What the H-E-double hockey sticks should I do with all these boxes?

Holy crap there's a lot of stuff to pack in this house. It's my first packing day since it's a long weekend (Happy Thanksgiving by the way...let's hear it for Canada!) and I am alone for my day off. I set some boxes upright and taped them strong. I have removed things from drawers (starting in the living room) and all I have to do is get at it.

Here's the problem...I don't want to! Packing sucks. I always have trouble getting started. There is a loose prong on the back of my tv so my plan to watch last week's CSI Miami and Prison Break as I pack is kaput. I've got no picture. I can listen to music but it just isn't the same. Boy do I hate a thwarted plan.

Note to self : *consider getting a new tv this spring*.

K, so I just got a call from Midge and she gave me a pep talk. I can't believe it's already so late in the day! Gawd, I am still obsessing in my head about the tv as I write this post! I have to end this and get started. I made a pot of coffee and took every book off the bookshelf on my way back to the computer. I have to separate things as some will go with us to my friends place, while the rest will go into storage. I have to pack all my everyday needs last obviously. I can live without the nic-nacs and pictures for the next while. Here I go...wish me luck. :)

Landing on my feet with cat like stealth

When difficult situations arise, Mama Bear jumps out. On occasion it's more like a Mama Lion. I have trouble with change.

Change is good right?

Nope. I still don't like it. In this case though, I had to make some choices purely based on the well being and security of my children. I have the car now and my expenses have increased since I moved here while household income has drastically decreased just recently. It's all good...mama worked it out. The problem is not really change itself, it's the process of getting from point A to B. I get myself all worked up but...something was different this time. I actually had a lot of clarity. I worked out the details as best I could and researched my options with focus and determination.

I feel very blessed to have good people in my life. I received an email last week from a friend of mine. It was only a couple of sentences but I couldn't help but cry. She said "why don't you just put your stuff in storage for a bit and stay at my place? I can stay at my guy's place and you can bring the boys' bunk beds and a couple of dressers. That way you'll have your finances worked out and able to get your new place." I already worked out all the details of the new place. The issue is the loss of the damage deposit here (I have to break my lease-damned if I do, damned if I don't kind of thing) and coming up with another deposit (1/2 a month's rent).

How kind and generous. Really and truly I am grateful. Much like pinkpiddypaws (I would link it if I wasn't being lazy) I have trouble accepting help from others but am happy to give it. I had to think about this one for a couple of days but I feel good about my choice to accept her help.

Today is a good day. I spoke with my brother the genius on the phone for the first time in over a year. I always feel such joy when I talk to him. I also saw my guardian mom (who I haven't seen in a couple of years) on Sunday. We went to get the boys from their father's place and enjoyed a lovely afternoon together. Tomorrow is a new day. Each one gets a little more normal. I have to move at the end of the month so I won't post much. Perhaps I need to call on some sweet guest bloggers? Hmmm?

it's bedtime...

kisses

the princess

Rash Decisions

I walked into Di's office the other day and quite boldly announced..."I was thinking I might chop my hair." *indicating and inverted bob with my hands*

Di: "NO! Don't cut your hair. I will never talk to you again. Wait until you're sane!"

I shriveled a little and said..."Ok, I'll wait."

Thank godness for good friends to keep me in line.

I've been meaning to do this post for a while now

Here are a few shots from Becca's wedding at the beginning of August. Keep in mind that I was in the wedding party so I really don't have too many pictures of the actual event.

Me and Becca's fabulously gay cousin PJ. We became friends as soon as we met and before I knew it he had offered to give me my curly doo for the wedding. He got really drunk the night before and I was thrilled that he still hauled ass over to do it.

Thanks again PJ. I got my eyebrows done the day before the wedding. They are a little narrow for my taste, but it's all good.

I just wanted to show you my pretty shoes, purple toenails, and the big bruise I aquired while decorating the reception hall. I simply cannot wear something pretty without having a bruise.

Keep in mind that PJ was snapping these pics behind the professional photographer, so the angles are off.

The beauty queen herself. What a beautiful bride she was.

According to the local ladies, this was the best "Garter Dance" ever. They had never seen someone dance to the entire song before! I happen to think that it's awesome that the groom actually has to WORK for that garter belt...and why shouldn't he? She's worth it. The dance was really quite impressive--complete with a backspin and everything. Becca chose "Billy Jean". Excellent choice my friend.

Shedding the "blue jogging pants" and getting on with it

During my senior year in high school a close friend of mine (who shall remain nameless) was devastated by a breakup. I believe they were together an entire 3? 3 1/2 months...anyhow, she was so sad. She used to stay over sometimes and come to school with me in the mornings. She wore the same pair of dark blue jogging pants every day for a month. My sister and I used to wonder aloud why she wouldn't just change her pants already. She just didn't care. She just wanted her comfort. I caught myself slipping into my favorite black gym pants for the 6th day running and decided maybe it was time to change it up a little. Now, I was only putting them on when I got home after work. I did make an effort to choose a different outfit for the 5 day work week. I couldn't be bothered to do my hair though. Ponytails are easier in the summer with the in between curly/straight hair.

Monday the boys came back home. I spent last weekend home alone for the most part. Midge and I (the break-up buddies) hung out a little, but mostly I was here. I haven't been watching much tv. I just don't feel like focusing on it. I did, however, watch American History X on Saturday night and decided to straighten my hair at the same time. I left it that way and had it down for work on Monday morning. I got a great deal of compliments that day.

Funny! I just had another high school memory. The above mentioned nameless friend and I had a theory on high school dances and looking hot. If we just wore nothing special during the week of the upcoming dance, no make-up, nothing fancy but picked something Really great to wear the night of the dance, we were sure to look all the more appealing. What do you think? Did that kind of thought work for any of you in high school? Any little techniques to share?

So, this afternoon at work I had a good laugh. I'm not sure if I should have been laughing about it but it felt good so whatever...

My boss said that I have lost weight, to which I replied "well, I'm eating." and went back to working. He came in later and said he hoped he hadn't offended me. I said "oh no, I just don't really have anything to say about it I guess, but thanks."

I told Di and another girl out back about it as I was getting something in the warehouse for a customer and Di yelled out, "Princess, you sure did lose weight. You lost 150 pounds of boyfriend." I'm not sure why, but I laughed so hard I could have actually peed a little. I didn't say I did by the way, just that I could have.

When In Rome...

I needed a vacation from my vacation. I was so sleepy last week that I couldn't even muster the energy (after work, kids and what have you) to blog. I wanted to but just didn't feel like typing. It's just the boyfriend and I now for the next 2 weeks so I'll post more soon.

I have to tell you that all my life people have always made the same comments to me about visiting Newfoundland. Newfies are the friendliest people in the world, and that they love their booze. Now, I'm quite sure not EVERY person in the province is a drinker but just to be hospitable they offer company either a tea or an alcoholic beverage.

My father is from Newfoundland so I am somewhat familiar with the party style. Most common is the kitchen party. We do that here in Nova Scotia as well. It's closest to the fridge. Now, in the summer you switch to a cooler out on the patio.

My dad, his wife and I spent our evenings drinking beer outside for 3 nights running. Becca and her new husband (had to say it cause it just sounds so sweet) picked me up at my dad's and I went to her home town to prepare for the wedding (as I said in a previous post). I actually spent some (and by some I mean all) late evenings out on the front porch getting to know Becca's man better (after doing all the wedding prep and visiting with Beck, of course). He and I have never been really close friends or anything, so it was nice to see a different side of him. All the love he has for my friend was so much more apparent during that week. He has married into a truly beautiful family. I will post some pictures tomorrow.

To sum it up, I drank 7 nights in a row. No freakin wonder I didn't want to type last week! I have to remind myself sometimes that I really am not 27 anymore.

Incidentally, I have been reading many posts. I have been keeping up but tight-lipped on the comments.

kisses

the princess

Mixed blessings and other things

So not only is my girl getting married in 2 days (with all the stress that entails), but she has had many other things happening as well. Last September she started fainting. At first we all assumed it was stress related as her father had been diagnosed with ALS and was very ill. As I wrote here, he succumbed to his illness last November. She continues to have these mysterious fainting spells and we have all been growing increasingly concerned for her health. She has had a couple of head scans because she had childhood epilepsy and thought it might be back. She has also been having some tests on her heart because the head scan showed no abnormalities. She had to wear what they call a "halter" with a number of monitors and wires hooked to her chest for a 24 hour period last Thursday at 1:30pm until Friday same time. Though it sounds bizarre to say this, THANK GOD she fainted while the halter was on. Otherwise we would still be in the dark. Much to every one's great surprise, my sweet friend received a call from her doctor on Monday here in Newfoundland. The results? Her heart stopped on Friday morning for 16 seconds when she fainted. She has to get a Pace Maker. Were she not here for the wedding, it would be done this week. Wow. Wow. Wow. My job right now is to help her stay as calm as possible. Please wish me luck and say a prayer.

The Wild Women Conquered

Since Becca lives next door, the boys hung out over there and played video games until we were ready to go to the club.

Conversation the day after the party...

the boyfriend: Man were you guys ever loud! Every so often we would hear someone go "ahhhhhhhhh" and lots of laughter (yelling in a girlie voice, of course).

me: *snort giggle* We were having so much fun. Becca was having sourpuss shots with each person individually instead of all together, then doing some Newfie step dancing in the livingroom...plus all the games...you know.

the boyfriend: women are sooo much dirtier that men.

me: yeah, of course we are!

The party was great and the company was even better. Cheers to good friends and kick-ass parties. I think I see more frequent girlie get togethers in the future.

So, if you haven't read the post beneath all of these pictures, you really should since I am a serious comment hound and I want you to read it!

the bride and her "bride girls"...that's bridesmaids for the mainlanders

me and my sweet friend

some lovely ladies...ahem...while still behaving as such

and the winner with 40 jube-jubes!

dirty, dirty girls!

the penis I lovingly created with playdough

yes, they were hanging there for a reason

in all her drunken glory...love you Becca!

in da club

not sure who the boy is, but the girls loved him!

The Wild Woman Cometh

I am throwing a bachelorette party for my girl Becca. She is getting married 3 weeks from today! She's been with her guy for over 2 years now but is nervous of losing her independence now that she's tying the knot. So tonight my friends, she will be the party girl we all remember. Now that we are mated we live in our own little bubbles(coming out occasionally for social functions)...gone are the late nights out dancing with the girls, dancing on Beck's table, and drinking ourselves silly. We hang out, but it's stuff like tanning on the deck or chatting while she hangs clothes and I watch because I love my dryer...since she lives next door to me see?

We are going to recreate some magical times here tonight folks! Every one's bringing something and I am going to make some spinach dip with sourdough and pumpernickel (we need food that will go down well with the booze). There are jello shooters gelling in the fridge, vodka and sourpuss on the counter...don't you wish you were partying with the princess and her crew tonight? I am a little rusty...it's been a while, but I throw a damn good party.

There will be dick balloons hanging from the ceiling (whip cream will be applied later) and dick straws for everyone! I have a pin the dick game, a jube-jube game (how many can you get in your mouth without chewing or swallowing them ladies?) I even have a few fun little prizes...oh my god guys! I gotta get a move on here! I gotta clean like a crazy person. I got up at 8 this morning to get groceries early. I have to straighten my hair and go to my salon for 12:30. She's simply going to help me with a funky ponytail...for the low, low price of $5! I am gonna tan just before I think. Oh, this is going to be so much fun! Aside from Relay I can't recall the last time I hung out with a large group of ladies. I am trying to convince the boyfriend to provide some entertainment for us. I actually think I have him half convinced. He and his brother (when he asks him that is...) are going to drive our drunk asses to the club of our choosing later. There will be pictures...oh yes, there will.

Kisses! By the way it is beautiful and sunny. This is a very happy day.

Candy 4 Cancer~~A Night Out

We were supposed to go camping last night. It just never happened. It was a work related event and I was feeling rather cranky with some of my co-workers the last couple of days and decided to do other things instead. My boys have gymnastics/boxing lessons on Saturdays and some of the ladies on my relay team were going out to collect random donations for Team Bean. They have done it years past and I must say, I really enjoyed my sober night out. I wouldn't have wanted to be all sloppy while walking around with candy and money anyhow. We were asking for donations and offering an assortment of candy for their kindness. The first things to go were the candy necklaces and bracelets. Remember those from childhood? (I took one when I noticed they were almost gone). I suppose it didn't hurt that we got all dressed up either. I wish we'd taken a picture before we had to walk in the rain. I also would have liked to show you my skirt and heels.

Here we are with our wares. We raised $310 while we were out!

While waiting for my friend in the washroom I somehow felt compelled to take a picture of the vending machine. Perfume and cologne. Last chance for romance at the caberet!

The Princess needs a new pair of sneakers for this

It's almost Relay time again! June 13th is the big night. I will be hanging with 9 other women on my relay team and we will start walking at 7:00pm and continue on through the night until 7:00am the next morning. Last year was my first time. My girl Midge has a younger brother who is a cancer survivor so her family participates every year. She had a spot on her team so she asked me to join them. The track is lined with luminaries, each candlelit bag with a name and often a personal message. Everybody's got a story...no question. What an amazing and very emotional time. In the picture below, 6 of these women have lost a parent to cancer. Each has lost and/or has a survivor in their family. I only knew 3 of the team members last year. It was moving to listen to the stories of these women. During the relay your team must have at least one member walking at all times. We took little breaks, but walked a whole lot. Midge and I actually did morning yoga as well. So much fun. I am really looking forward to it.

So my family and friends, I am asking for some help. I have a very small group of peeps here where I live and I find fundraising extremely difficult. I know that some of my friends out here are not even Canadian, however, research benefits all of us. Wanna sponsor me? Huh, huh? Well...at least flip over to my page and have a look at why I relay.

My relay team...pausing by the speakers to bust-a-move and the photo op of course!

Team Ghetto Fabulous~~Princess C

Go Shorty, It's your Birthday

3 of my best girls have birthdays during the month of April. Today's song choice is a shout out to my ladies...In Da Club by 50Cent. Go, go, go, go shorties!