Silly Car Conversations with Children, and My Sojourn to the DMV

I had to go switch the plate registration for the new car on Thursday night. I had been waiting until the last possible moment because the DMV office has recently gotten a new computer system. Actually, I went a week ago last Friday but I walked in to find small pockets of standing room only. I looked for another 20 seconds or so, then went to get a case of beer and come home. Thurday was it. No more chances. It was nearly as crowded almost a week later. A lady glanced my way to catch my desperate, trapped look as I came in. she smiled at me and said "If you need a "B", here's one". Ahhh..."B" is plate renewal and transfer! I said "I do need a B, that's great! Thanks a lot". "Merry Christmas" she replied. They were at B250. Mine was B283...time to run my spring jackets to the drycleaner and still keep my ticket. Excellent! It took almost 2 hours and there were children running and people milling the whole time. The DMV is open Thursday and Friday nights, and only until 7:00. They lock the doors but continue to serve the customers in the building. Well, it's done now. Whew!

Friday afternoons are busy. The boyfriends gets off work 1/2 hour earlier than me, drives accross town to pick up both my boys, then me, then opposite to home to get Tyler. We do this every 2 weeks, so we usually just order pizza on the way home so we can eat supper at a decent time. Once they picked me up yesterday, there was a buzz of silly conversations with some really great stuff mixed in.

Seth: "I weigh 103 pounds!"

Sidney: "I weigh...Sethy, how much do I weigh?"

"43 pounds, Sid. Guess what? If there were 2 Sidneys I would still weigh more than you." says Seth.

"2 Sidneys? Sweet! What if the other Sidney stood on my shoulders? Then we would be bigger than you."

Interjection from mama: "Bubba, you would certainly be taller, but Seth would still weigh more."

"Oh, but what if there were 99 Sidneys?"

The boyfriend, me and Seth in sync: "oh no, one's perfect" *or some form of this sentence* Also, each time Sidney was not part of the conversations, he was singing "Ty, Ty, Tyler...going to get Tyler!" Over and over again.


Seth pipes up as we were approaching Ty's place and says:

"Mom, this might sound funny but I am kinda glad you and dad aren't together anymore because if you were there would be no Jones (their baby brother) and Monica (stepmom) and no Tyler. Well, there would be a Tyler but we wouldn't know him. Oh, and we wouldn't know (the boyfriend) B either."

How impressive is that? Does it seem odd for me to be so proud of this? I just think it's an incredibly positive attitude for him. Sidney doesn't remember us ever being together, but it was hard for Seth for a while. I am so proud he has turned the situation into such a happy one. I really believe this will help him later in life.

I had more to say, but I started this on Saturday and couldn't post until Sunday. I worked Saturday, which only happens a few times a year. I worked until 2:45, got a ride right to the gym to get Sid out of the pool for gymnastics class. After class, we all met to go home and eat. Seth then has to be back to the gym at 5:30 for boxing. Saturdays are busy too it seems, even without throwing a few hours of work in the mix. It's quieting down now and the boys will all be going by tomorrow. I enjoy my "every second Monday" as you know. More to post later.

He's My Everyday Hero

I loves my boyfriend. He is my best friend and every time he does something for me that makes me happy I tell him he is my everyday hero. It has sort of become our little inside joke. He accepts my silly ways and I accept his. From the beginning of our relationship I was always impressed with his kindness and attention to my children. It is one thing to be nice to someones child/children, but another entirely to love them. He loves them.

Almost 1 year ago, I encouraged him and stood by him as he sought out his son. His ex had left the province and he had not seen or had ANY contact with her or Tyler for 7 years. I have mentioned it before but it is such an incredible series of events that it bears repeating. He actually found her profile on facebook and sent her an e-mail. That was last April. They moved to our area last summer and father and son were reunited at the beginning of August 2007. Since that time, we have had him most weekends. He and Seth became fast friends, and Sidney just adores him as well. I am now a stepmother.

The interesting thing is this: Blake and I had just moved in together late that spring but to Tyler we appear to be such a stable family as if we had been together forever or something you know? Not that we aren't happy, but just imagine what a wonderful yet extremely complicated situation it is. It provides us with more motivation to work on our relationship and establish our life together. Since he and the ex hadn't been in touch all those years, there was a huge build-up of frustration and some anger on both sides. I am so glad that I was there to help and guide and play a little mediation as well. He has told me how much easier I made it for him to be able to talk to with her. I just offer support and a listening ear when he needs it. I am so anal about routine and structure for children and Blake has adopted my attitude with this as well. We do everything we can to provide his son with a loving and stable environment as I know that his life has been somewhat complex. Though it has forever changed our lives, I couldn't be happier that this has happened. I have often said that even if things don't work out between us I will always feel good about being instrumental in bringing the 2 of them back together. How can I allow him to love my children and not love his? I can't. I love him and we develop our relationship more each time he comes home.

Baby Mama Drama

I was at Staples this morning picking up some supplies for work when I received a call on my cellphone. It was the boyfriend and my my, was he in a panic! He had just received a call from his son's school to inform him that Tyler had not arrived today. They tried his mom at work and couldn't reach her. Then at home, but didn't have the correct number. Logically they tried the boyfriend (since it is his son) next. He tried calling her also, but got no answer.

He called me because Ty's grandmother's number is programmed into my cellphone and he wanted to see if maybe he was with her. Now, please understand that I am completely cellphone stupid. I had to carry the manual in my purse for months just so I could remember the functions after I got my upgrade. I answer it when it rings and make the occasional call out but that's all I know how to do. I had to hang up and try to figure out how to find her number, then call back twice when I couldn't figure it out. Of course, by the second time I called he was getting a upset with me as well. Now remember, I was out getting things for work so while these calls are going on. I had my arms full of calculators and markers, which I kept dropping all over the floor. Good times.

So, I finally find the number and decide to just call her myself rather than calling his work yet again, which OF COURSE sends her into a panic state because Tyler is not with her either. She was asking me all these questions about what the school said, was M at work? Why wasn't she home? Get it together, woman! I am just asking if he is there...YES or NO? I told her that they were probably just out to the store or something, don't worry I will let you know what happens.

You do know I have a high level of anxiety on a good day right? Man, this situation didn't even involve either of my own children and I was desperately caught up in the 15 minutes of drama! AHHHHHHH! Anyhow, M's mom called me back to let me know she had reached them and yes, they were home and fine. Just what I figured. I told both the boyfriend and the grandmother to relax, and that there was probably nothing at all to worry about. So, as I am receiving her update, the other line goes (hey! look at that~there's call waiting on my cell) so I let her go and flip over to the other line. It's the boyfriend, who is also calling to tell me that he reached M. So this is where the real drama started...

She WAS NOT impressed that the school called him. She proceeded to tell him how she had given "those idiots at the school" her new number at least 3 f**king times! What the hell were they doing calling him?

Princess Rules of Conduct

1. If the mother/father neglects to call the school and inform them that the child will not be there, they have NO CAUSE to question who the school calls. The staff are only trying to protect our children for crying out loud. This has happened with my boys before as well. I actually had to have a conversation with the ex's girlfriend about a similar situation.

2. The parent who has commited the offence of not being responsible should never ever be upset with the parent who is frantically trying to locate their "missing" child. They should apologise, put their children first and suck it up.

Now, I don't normally get into this kind of topic here and I certainly don't want to offend anyone who might read this (M--if you do read this and you're pissed, sorry, but I stand by my statements on this topic).

A Nice Family Christmas

Don't they all look happy here? The older boys received A LOT of clothes, so the gift opening was a little more boring than some years. They are reaching that age where they are on the cusp...between toys and other, more expensive gifts. Sidney is still thrilled with just about anything! He cheers for cars, books, and socks. It was a really nice day for all of us.

everyone is smiling and looking in the same direction...

how the heck do you get the plastic off this thing?

Proud L'il Mama

I have to say a little something about Seth. Since Tyler has come into our lives, and into his, Seth has been so generous with him. He is somewhat materialistic and used to sort of having things his way, so I have been watching intently to see what would happen with another 9 year old around. Now granted, Seth lives here only every other week and Tyler only comes on weekends so they really don't spend a great deal of time together, however, Seth calls his bedroom "our room or mine and Tyler's room" without a second thought. My mom had a boyfriend and when his daughter came to visit I really tried to be nice, but I can remember feeling frustrated with her sometimes. I am so proud of Seth for being so open and sharing with someone. I am so pleased to see that he can so freely share his bunkbeds,space and other possessions. He can be so thoughtful--especially in regards to Tyler. I just wanted to publicly announce that he is a good boy. He tries my patience in areas, but he is good and he is going to be a good man someday.

ah ha! I just found this one while browsing...taken 2 yrs ago

The Twins

So, Tyler (Blake's son) comes over almost every weekend to stay with us. Before school started, he was able to come on some weeknights as well, but living in a different school district and city makes it logistically inconvenient. Homework must come first, you know.

Seth and Tyler are exactly 6 months apart in age, and enjoy many of the same pass times. They love calling themselves "brothers" and say that they are "twins". They say they have so much in common it is CREEPY! I am so happy that they get along so well. Sidney does get left out a little because the age gap is so great. He loves Tyler so much and gets very excited every time he arrives to visit. Although it is a big transition and can sometimes be stressful to have such a diverse little family, we are enjoying it very much. Blake is so thrilled to have an active roll in his son's life.

It is amazing to me to find myself in the roll of a "stepmother". Who knew that would happen? What an incredible series of events we have gone through over the past several months.

WHOOO HOOO

Blake won tickets to the Billy Talent concert here in town tomorrow. He called into the radio station with his "talent". He does impersonations...Borat, the Crocodile Hunter, various farm animals...don't ask, it's just what he does for entertainment. He is hilarious and it has paid off for him. I didn't actually hear him on the radio, but my co-workers did. He told them he could do farm animals and proceeded to do a few as they requested specific ones. There was a message on the answering machine today telling him that he was also the grand prize winner of backstage passes and a chance to hang with Billy Talent! Isn't that something?

Dad, I'm Here!

Those are the first words Blake heard from Tyler in person. Probably the sweetest words he has ever heard. From the sound of things, we will be able to see him pretty regularly.

Tyler and Blake

The big reunion is on the way. As I was saying in "my heart...", Blake found his child's mother after many years. There has been a lot of e-mailing back and forth...initially between she and Blake, but Michelle and I write as well now. We are getting to know one another as mothers, and looking forward to seeing this special event. There is just so much to it... so much happening. They are moving here to HRM. Blake and Tyler are going to have a relationship! Yay for both of them! They chat on the telephone every evening, discussing daily events and 9 year old passions. He will be here in approximately 1 more month. To Blake, it certainly feels like an eternity, but Michelle will arrive first to settle in and I think it will be nice for the 2 of them to talk about things, become acquainted as parents with a common goal. They will do just fine, I am sure.

My boys are going on vacation to Ontario with their father and family, so while they are away, and before Tyler arrives, Blake and I are going to paint the boys' bedrooms. Seems like a nice time to prepare and surprise them with something new and fun. I have just another week with them before they leave. Ahhh summer activity! So busy and so much fun!

My Heart is Overflowing

Background...

pssst...Blake has a son. He just turned 9 years old. They haven't seen one another since his boy was 1 1/2. With respect to Blake and his privacy, I will not embellish except to say that because of many reasons of her own, and without explanation she left the province "without a trace". Blake has spent these years growing personally (as we all do) and becoming the responsible man that I met and became involved with. He thinks about his son every day--perhaps even more now as he gets to know my children. We have talked about the possibilities of finding them...how to do it and all of that.

Last Night...

After a conversation we had had previously, Blake decided to check out Facebook and see if he could find her name and picture. He called my cell as I was on my way home from work and says "I found her!". Oh My Goodness the emotion in his voice...so close to tears! So when I arrived he is still composing the e-mail. I read it and thought he said such appropriate things in a very non-confrontational mannor. He sent it without no expectation of response.

This Morning...

I was going through Tim Horton's drive-thru with the boys on the way in to work when the cellphone rings..."She responded", "He knows about me and they are moving here in June", "She was going to look for me" ...tears of joy are falling. It's in his voice, deep with emotion. OH HAPPY DAY!

Stay tuned for further developments...