Words that really move me

You're gonna think it's odd that I'm saying this about a song. I mean...it's ONLY a song, right? nope. Music so often moves me. I listen first to the music...the voice...definately the words. On a recent Saturday expedition to Wal-Mart with the boys I purchased Pink's new cd. Naturally, I listened to the songs I love the most first. As many times in a row as I damn well please thankyouverymuch! Then I listened to the entire cd. haha! I almost wrote album if you can believe that. Anyhow, I love all the songs but this one has really just touched me. Beautiful words, beautiful melody. It's not one I can find on youtube but if I can figure out how to get it on my computer then into a post I will soooo play it for you.

Crystal Ball ~~ Pink

I'm drinking wine and thinking bliss
Is on the other side of this
I just need a compass
And a willing accomplice
All my doubts have filled my head
Cascading up and down again
Up and down around again
Down and up and down again

Oh I've had my chances and I've taken 'em all
Just to end up right back here on the floor
* to end up right back here on the floor*

Chorus:

Pennies in a well
A million dollars in the fountain of a hotel
A fortune teller that says maybe you will go to hell
But I'm not scared at all
Of the cracks in the crystal
The cracks in the crystal ball

Sometimes you think everything
Is wrapped inside a diamond ring
Love just needs a witness
And a little forgiveness
And a halo of patience
And a less sporadic pace and
I'm learning to be brave in my beautiful mistakes
Oh I've felt that fire and I, I've been burned
But I wouldn't trade the pain for what I've learned
*woudn't trade the pain for what I've learned*

Chorus (above)

Irony, irony
Is hating love, hating love
For what it does to me
What it's done to me
What it's done
Done

Chorus:

Pennies in a well
A million dollars in the fountain of a hotel
Broken mirrors and a black cat's cold stare
Walk under ladders
On my way to hell I'll meet you there
But I'm not scared at all
No I'm not scared at all
Of the cracks in the crystal
The cracks in the crystal ball


________________________________________________

In other news...

My high school reunion is coming up this July. Yay! I've already bought my ticket. I've been trying to reach my good friend KennyG to take me to "prom". We've never had any romantic involvement *friends since age 13 or so* but I would love to walk in with him. Actually, he was at the 10 year one with me and Adair. It'll be much more fun if he comes with. :)

My beutiful seester Eve (who I totally wish was gonna be here for it as well) sent me the most beautiful summer dress that I am totally wearing to the dance. Oh it's sooo freakin pretty! Now I need to figure out the shoes and jewery situation. Nothing fancy, understand just...do I need to wear something a little more bold around my neck with the neckline of the dress? I'm definately going to have to post a picture. Maybe someone can help me figure it out.

yeah. I know I've said before that I was back and didn't stick around. I'm really going to work on that. I'll be visiting around here shortly. I'm glad to be back.

kisses,

the princess
*yeah, that's right. so what? I am a princess*

Let me do it!

Seth has really begun to develop his own unique tastes in music, art and entertainment. He has taken a real liking to Mad TV, have you seen it? Some of the skits are too mature in content for him but he'll turn it off if asked to do so. He favorite character is Stuart. He is often scanning youtube to watch the different scenes. I've decided to share this one with you, cause if you are unfamiliar with Stuart, he's got the devil in him just like my little bubba!



School was cancelled today due to inclement weather. Oh the joys of Nova Scotia! It looks absolutely fine out there, but having just gotten back to regular time with the boys I have to say it's nice to take a day off with them.

Before bed last night, Sidney threw the biggest fit. He tends to repeat himself and raise his voice when he doesn't get what he wants. I had to drag him upstairs to bed, push him to brush his teeth, and listen to him screech because "he wanted to play playstation2--not go to bed!" This morning was no different. He just doesn't listen all that well sometimes even though the rules don't change. He tries my patience very much and is damn lucky he's so cute.

I know I haven't been around all that much. I have been writing, but just elsewhere. I am doing very well and just finding my groove in my new single status. I still don't go out much but last week was an exception. I had plans every night but one the whole time the boys were at their dad's. Man, I have to say I was a little overwhelmed, but I had a lot of fun as well. I actually had a dinner date with a man I met in the fall. I'm not used to this dating stuff and I'm not looking for a relationship at all, but it was nice to have good conversation and enjoy a meal out. Free food is always good. We'll see if he calls again.

After all this time blogging, I finally figured out how to insert a video into a post! Progress is marvelous.

Back to life, back to reality

The last couple of weeks have gone by very quickly. I am done moving for a long time to come. I plan on staying right here until I buy a house, which I don't expect to do anytime real soon.

The boys came home yesterday. They are here for the next 9 days, then back to dad's for 7, then completely back to normal. How great is that? After putting all my stuff away, the more I look around, the more I love my new place. It was freshly painted and carpeted just before we got here so it's very perfect.

I can't tell you how great I feel having gotten things all back together again. All I could think of yesterday was...

I'm getting my balance back.
I'm getting my life back.
I'm getting my boys back.
I'm home.

So far 2009 is looking pretty good. I can't believe all the things going on with the boys these days! They are growing so tall and learning so many new things. It's not like I haven't seen or talked to them, it's just things I haven't told you yet that are certainly a great deal more noticeable when they are here. For instance, Seth told me some time ago that he and his buddies were taking girls to the Valentines dance at school. By the time his cousin came to visit close to Christmas, he was telling him how he had the phone number of the prettiest girl in the school and he had the piece of paper to prove it! I honestly don't know whether to laugh or cry. How did he go from being my little boy to this oh so tall "tween" as he calls it? Wow.

Sidney is his usual ball of energy. He's been somewhat difficult through this fall. He's been missing me and acting out some. He's normally very dramatic, but it seems to be getting even harder to get through to him in those moments when he's frustrated or whatever. He's a sunny, good natured little guy, just starts wailing at the first sign of "NO!". He's really glad to be back with me and I am hoping things will tone down for him shortly. School is going well for him, and he has made a couple of great friends. No worries in the comprehension department with the french immersion either. All is well.

I am happy now. Moving on to a more positive phase of life. Ahhh...

Guitar Princess

I haven't returned the borrowed playstation2. I have been playing it instead. I am at a slight disadvantage as there is no memory card so once I turn it off, my Princess career is over. I got down to the 4th section of songs tonight. I had to do 2 encores and a battle to get there. I f**king rock! Guitar Hero told me so. I might play a little tomorrow night so I got it back to the main screen, switched over to the cable box and left the power on the game. Is that bad for it? I don't want to ruin it but I sure do want to continue with my song choices. It took me some sweating and sore fingers so I am just not ready to stop yet. Obsessed much?

Keep in mind this is the one and only video game I play or have any interest in playing. I love playing when I'm alone because I get distracted when someone talks to me. See? I'm keeping myself busy.

Rash Decisions

I walked into Di's office the other day and quite boldly announced..."I was thinking I might chop my hair." *indicating and inverted bob with my hands*

Di: "NO! Don't cut your hair. I will never talk to you again. Wait until you're sane!"

I shriveled a little and said..."Ok, I'll wait."

Thank godness for good friends to keep me in line.

On the Upside...

My skinny jeans fit!!!

'nuf said

Shedding the "blue jogging pants" and getting on with it

During my senior year in high school a close friend of mine (who shall remain nameless) was devastated by a breakup. I believe they were together an entire 3? 3 1/2 months...anyhow, she was so sad. She used to stay over sometimes and come to school with me in the mornings. She wore the same pair of dark blue jogging pants every day for a month. My sister and I used to wonder aloud why she wouldn't just change her pants already. She just didn't care. She just wanted her comfort. I caught myself slipping into my favorite black gym pants for the 6th day running and decided maybe it was time to change it up a little. Now, I was only putting them on when I got home after work. I did make an effort to choose a different outfit for the 5 day work week. I couldn't be bothered to do my hair though. Ponytails are easier in the summer with the in between curly/straight hair.

Monday the boys came back home. I spent last weekend home alone for the most part. Midge and I (the break-up buddies) hung out a little, but mostly I was here. I haven't been watching much tv. I just don't feel like focusing on it. I did, however, watch American History X on Saturday night and decided to straighten my hair at the same time. I left it that way and had it down for work on Monday morning. I got a great deal of compliments that day.

Funny! I just had another high school memory. The above mentioned nameless friend and I had a theory on high school dances and looking hot. If we just wore nothing special during the week of the upcoming dance, no make-up, nothing fancy but picked something Really great to wear the night of the dance, we were sure to look all the more appealing. What do you think? Did that kind of thought work for any of you in high school? Any little techniques to share?

So, this afternoon at work I had a good laugh. I'm not sure if I should have been laughing about it but it felt good so whatever...

My boss said that I have lost weight, to which I replied "well, I'm eating." and went back to working. He came in later and said he hoped he hadn't offended me. I said "oh no, I just don't really have anything to say about it I guess, but thanks."

I told Di and another girl out back about it as I was getting something in the warehouse for a customer and Di yelled out, "Princess, you sure did lose weight. You lost 150 pounds of boyfriend." I'm not sure why, but I laughed so hard I could have actually peed a little. I didn't say I did by the way, just that I could have.

A Whole Hand

My Sidney is 5 years old today. You guessed it! That means that the NS School Board better watch out, cause here comes a tornado! He He...I suppose he isn't all that bad, but he IS quite a handful. He has more energy than 10 children and he is sharp as a whip.

As upsetting as it is for me (as a mama) to accept, there will be no more nap time cuddles and super silly pre-school games. He is growing up so fast. I can't believe he's starting school in a little over 2 weeks. I mentioned at work the time that he was born. Someone said "wow, you even remember the exact time?" You bet your ass I do!

Sidney's birth was a planned c-section. The first attempt (with Seth, of course) ended up being a 2 day affair, followed inevitably with a c-section. That's right folks, 2 days solid labour pains. I didn't even want to consider doing it again, so because of my bone structure and inability to pass a child through the birth canal, we planned out a date for me to have my second baby. I didn't know whether it was a boy or a girl but definitely settled on the name.

I was prepped for surgery only the freezing didn't take on the first try. They gave me another shot in the spine and I could still feel hands applying iodine on my lower belly. I remember feeling really panicked and calling out "I CAN FEEL THAT!" They assured me that everything was all right and to tell the doctor where you can feel. Ummm...everywhere HELLO! So third time's a charm right? They decided to give me an epidural instead so that they could dose me with more medicine if necessary. It finally worked. Once that was done it was only about 15 minutes before my little Bubba arrived to see the world for the first time. He was born at 9:14am on ( I am pretty sure) a Tuesday.

You can't possibly imagine how long it took for me to get feeling back in my lower body after all that freezing. Good thing I was there to stay for a few days. It was a much more pleasant experience to for-go the labour. Yep! Much nicer for the princess.

Psssst!

self portrait with my "princess for the day" tiara

I am 37 years young today and I feel fabulous!

We are going out to dinner once the boyfriend is done showering and shaving. He came home at lunch and set out a lovely bouquet of flowers for me...how sweet! Cake with pink icing and ribbon as well.

Administrative Professionals Day

Back in the day they would have called it Secretaries Day, but that is now politically incorrect. I'm sure somewhere out there it is politically incorrect to address us as "dear, sweetie, honey", but it happens on the regular. I am not overly caught up in all the correctness. Hell, I wouldn't have such good rapport with my customers if I was that stiff at my office. Of course, I deal with contractors all day. Nuf said about that.

The general manager took me to lunch today. I had a wonderful seafood chowder to start and this incredible chicken dish with a brae (did I spell that right? the cheese I mean) and strawberry sauce served with spinach salad. Yummy. My belly is still full. I even enjoyed a couple of beer with my meal. It was all I could do to stay awake for the rest of the day! All I really wanted after lunch was to have a nap. Alas, it was very busy so no rest for the wicked. Happy Administrative Professionals Day to all of you admin workers out there. Hope you got some flowers, lunch or some other form of recognition for all of your hard work. Without us, the offices wouldn't tick. I am clapping and cheering for you now...hope it makes you feel special. :)

Sometimes I Just Gotta Dance

I sometimes just bring up my blog, turn the music on and dance in the living room. Only when I am alone. Does that make me a little weird? Not that I care. I will continue to get my groove on the the living room with or without your blessing.

Breaker, Breaker...We Have An Eyebrow Down

I should have heeded the words of my blogger friends. I wrote a post a while back about a home waxing kit that I bought. I used the quick strips to do my eyebrows that weekend and they looked great! I shape them by plucking but I go get them done every once in a blue moon just to make the shape nicer, you know? Anyhow, I decided at about 10:00pm last night that I would wax them again. All was going well until I went into the curve to get a few hairs. I cannot describe to you the emotions I experienced when I pulled the strip off! For starters, it was painful since I pulled a big chunk of the part of my brow that has never been removed before. PRETTY! So, after my mini stroke (and a quiet streak of curse words), I took a close look and tried to move what I had around to cover the error. Of course, I had to thin out the other brow to match. I asked Di this morning at work if she could tell. She said that she noticed they were plucked, but didn't notice the missing hair until I said something. The boyfriend, on the other hand, had a good chuckle when I came out of the bathroom last night. Can't blame him, really. Kinda serves me right. I'm thinking I will just go ahead and shell out the cash next time. Sometimes I have to just learn from my mistakes...ridiculous!

My Song Choice for Saturday

So, I am going to try and post 1 song each Saturday that I enjoy. Now, I don't have mad skills with attachments in posts, so it will have to be a song I can find on YouTube. I wish I knew how to actually upload the video into a post...anyone?

This week's choice is Ching-A-Ling by Missy Elliott. I love her because she is always herself and doesn't buy into the skinny hype. She is sexy and happy in her own skin. Also, she loves to shake what her mama gave her... and asses (and the shaking of ) are one of my very favorite things. She's successful in her own field because she is a talented, determined woman. I realize not everyone enjoys Rap/Hip Hop tunes and they won't always be this type of music, but it is something I love. I could dance for hours. Speaking of which, I am all alone for the evening and I may just dance around the living room a little. Time well spent. I can listen to the same song 3 times in a row if I want and no one will say a word. Very nice.

Clumsy-Ass Chick

This is not the first post about my clumsiness and it certainly won't be the last. Damn freezing rain! I had to drop off some brochures for overprint yesterday morning and in the 15-20 minutes I was out of the office, I managed to come back all gimped up. After dropping off my stuff I headed back to the truck but before I managed to get to the door I slipped. I fell onto my knees and instinctively put my hands forward for support. They slapped onto the ground but did not provide much support because they immediately slipped out as well, leaving me sprawled out in the parking lot. Oh shit! Did anyone see that? Did I rip my dress pants? Again, did anyone see that? Of course my chin hit the ground as well as my knees, palms and one elbow and I was bleeding from my fingers. I am walking sooooo slowly today.

The thing is, I never hurt myself badly enough for a hospital visit or anything. Just enough that I am bruised, battered and sore for several days. The troll at work was bitching about how I should sue. Ummm...last time I checked you actually had to lose time at work, or have a serious injury in order to sue. I replied by simply saying "I'm at work today, so what I am I going to sue them for exactly?". Not to mention that we don't/can't sue people the same way Americans can. That's not a dig at Americans, they just do things differently than we do here in Canada.

The boyfriend was extremely sympathetic as soon as he saw me hobbling around. He got me an ice pack and had me lay down on the couch with my leg propped up on pillows for the evening. I am staying close to my desk today. Less opportunity to fall down that way.

How My Mother Chose My Name

It is my understanding that my mother greatly loved this song, and chose to name me after the girl the song was written for...

Corinna, Corinna

I love Corinna, tell the world I do

I love Corinna, tell the world I do

I pray at night she'd like to love me too

Corinna, Corinna

Corinna, Corinna

Corinna, Corinna

I love you so

Oh little darling where you've been so long?

Oh little darling where you've been so long?

I ain't had no lovin' since you've been gone

Corinna, Corinna

Corinna, Corinna

Corinna, Corinna

I love you so

I left Corinna way across the sea

Oh me I left Corinna way across the sea

If you see Corinna send her home to me

Corinna, Corinna

Corinna, Corinna

Corinna, Corinna

I love you so

Corinna, Corinna

Corinna, Corinna

Corinna, Corinna

I love you so

Oh darling don't you know

I love you so

Darling don't you know

I love you so

by: Eric Burdon & The Animals

I Said I Would, And I Actually Did!

So, I mentioned that I haven't had a cigarette in a while. I have been waiting to talk about it because I didn't want to jinx myself, if that makes any sense. I guess I didn't want to write about it too quickly in case I bailed again. Before I made this post, I wanted to be certain that I was on the right track, and had actually followed through with what I said in "bad habits" last year...that 2007 was the year to make it happen.

This time, my doctor suggested I check out champix online, and let her know what I think. I decided to try it since I liked what I read, and she had said several people were having good results with it. See, you start the pills, then set the quit date. For me, every day was easier and I wanted less to smoke. By the eve of my quit date, I was nervous but encouraged for sure. I have not had a cigarette since October 31, 2007. Yay for me! Perhaps I am also just ready. It really takes will power, although I am still taking the pills and that helps. I have been out a few times with people smoking...sans cigarettes por moi... even had drinks. This is MAGIC for me! So far, so good. I don't even miss it with my coffee OR my beer.

Ghetto Fabulous

My Relay for Life team has decided to go with Ghetto Fabulous for our group theme this year. Last year we were "team camo", you know...battling cancer and all. Anyhow, camo is easy to find, and others started using it as well. This year will be different. We haven't gotten firm ideas about what to wear because realistically, we will be walking/running for 12 hours, so we have to be comfortable as well as fabulous. The shirts will definitely say: "Ghetto Fabulous" on the front, and "Holla!" on the back. It doesn't take place until June, but awfully fun to think about.

I have always been on a limited budget, but worked as hard as I could to be stylish, you know? It makes a difference outwardly as well as inwardly. Who doesn't feel better when they have confidence in how they look? Things that I miss:

bikini waxing every 5 weeks

buying salon hair products when I run out. not having to substitute for the time being

getting more than 1-2 hair cuts a year because it is too expensive to even consider

buying my coveted clinique makeup whenever I run out and just need more.

I do not complain, because there are more important things in life than having little creature comforts. I am so grateful to be where I am. I just look to the future in hopes of more career opportunities to provide more for myself and my boys.

I may have originally had more to say in the post, but it escapes me at the moment. I am having fun and feeling like the pretty lady I am (omg am I ever conceited!) . My sister once said that I am like a butterfly...who became more beautiful with age.

Early December Bitch Fest

So... miss princess isn't feeling so merry right now. I get really tense because I'm such a planner, Christmas is so close and I am not ready . Incidentally, I had my last cigarette on October 31 (I will post more on this later). I know I posted last spring about having gone on the patch, but it didn't last. I am feeling very good about it this time. Very.

We are going to a party tomorrow night, and what I would really love is if I didn't have this huge f%#king pimple under my eye. I am so shallow...yes, shame on me. Good thing I know what I'm doing with my hair and have chosen and outfit that is gonna work. Objective for tomorrow afternoon: purchase the correct color of concealer and foundation to cover up this monster. I normally get make-up from Clinque. I always get it during the bonus times because it is very expensive and I love--no, deserve-- the free stuff. I missed this last bonus time by just 2 days. I have actually been letting my skin breathe. I need it tomorrow though--no make-up, no party. I just don't know what brand or tones to get that are a little less expensive. Any brand suggestions? I will write down my colors, of course.

Other December bitches...

The pressure of finding the desired Santa gifts-- if nothing else on that list--for the love god! I almost...almost paid a lot of extra money for a gift I didn't feel confident I would still be able to get next weekend when I complete my shopping. There was a guy selling one here in town for a greatly inflated price for pure profit (he was willing to take a post-dated cheque), but we were able to juggle money and grab one from Wal-mart on sale this week. I feel much better having that solved. I will save the unveiling for Christmas day. Be patient.

It gets very quiet at work. I have a difficult time concentrating all day when it gets so quiet... without the phones ringing madly and the deadlines. I have a great deal of filing work to do, but it's like folding laundry...which I can't stand. Oh yeah, that reminds me! The dryer broke--shut down, not fixable. I know the washer was right behind it the way it danced in the room, so we bit the bullet and got new ones. There is about 12 plus loads done here in a 2 week span for sure. Bad timing is all I can say.

Winter makes me sad. I miss my family (parents, siblings, cousins...you know) especially when there are fun things going on with the boys. I know they all love us, and I know they are safe. I am blessed, but I wish they were here with us. I especially miss my brother Rodney. We haven't talked for some time and I feel disconnected.

Anyhow, I guess that's all for now. I didn't get a chance to sit at the computer to get into this until late. I had more, but the words aren't there right now. I will post party pictures soon.

Proud L'il Mama

I have to say a little something about Seth. Since Tyler has come into our lives, and into his, Seth has been so generous with him. He is somewhat materialistic and used to sort of having things his way, so I have been watching intently to see what would happen with another 9 year old around. Now granted, Seth lives here only every other week and Tyler only comes on weekends so they really don't spend a great deal of time together, however, Seth calls his bedroom "our room or mine and Tyler's room" without a second thought. My mom had a boyfriend and when his daughter came to visit I really tried to be nice, but I can remember feeling frustrated with her sometimes. I am so proud of Seth for being so open and sharing with someone. I am so pleased to see that he can so freely share his bunkbeds,space and other possessions. He can be so thoughtful--especially in regards to Tyler. I just wanted to publicly announce that he is a good boy. He tries my patience in areas, but he is good and he is going to be a good man someday.

ah ha! I just found this one while browsing...taken 2 yrs ago

The Princess Diaries

I sometimes call myself "Princess Corinna". It started years ago during an evening of drinking with friends. My friend Tammie and I were walking around with little plastic tiarras on our heads and pretending that we got our own ways...when really, we didn't. Not a princess in the stereo-typical "Jewish Princess" sense, as I do not expect, nor do I receive all the material things I want. It is about attitude. I do not demand nor expect an abundance of "things" to make me happy, however, I do expect a lot of respect, love and affection. If I do not receive these things, I feel cranky and unappreciated.

This morning after the alarm clock went off, I stayed in bed and asked for a cuddle. He responded by saying that he was freezing and didn't move. I perceived it as him being too lazy to turn over and hug me, so I flicked him in the head and got out of bed to prepare for work. Yeah, I know...what a bitch! I don't like when things start to change and become overly comfortable. There should always be time in our lives to show love to one another. The longer you are together, the harder it becomes. You know that person will be there later, so you don't try as hard. Gentlemen, this is a wake up call. Do not ignore the signs when your lady wants some attention. We will be like tame little kittens if you do this for us.

The older I get, the more demanding I get. The more I expect to receive what I want and need. I am most excellent at compromise, unless my needs suffer. I will have no more of that, thank you very much.

I am sorry, babe, that I reacted that way...just so you know.