Mariposa's Haiku

Back to My Future

it's over now, it was fun while it lasted,

that i've come to accept

why it happened, how it happened and what happened

dont hold meaning now

it's time to move on

i've got my sanity back

and i'm keeping it

Mariposa inspires me with her posts every week and I am so glad she decided to write something that ties in so well to me right now.

Alone but not lonely

Through the course of my longest relationship (with the boys' father) I was no stranger to being alone. He went away sometimes for months at a time. I was accustomed to alone time. Of course, I did have my child/children to keep me occupied and focused and also the financial security and knowledge of the return of said partner, which made it all right.

I have always floated from one relationship to another. I love to be loved and need to love others. I am very nervous of strangers and usually make a choice to date someone I have known and become friends with. I can't explain it, I'm just telling you how it is. My problem is *well, perhaps there is more than just 1, but only this one for today* that I seem to lose myself in relationships. It is my nature to please others. I begin to neglect my own thoughts and feelings in some ways and don't always notice until it's too late.

Now I am alone. Yes, I have my children and they are a great comfort because I will always get to love them and they will always return it. We are a family...but wait! I have to share them with their father. I only get them half the time. It took me years to adjust and look at the positive of that situation (although I would never have done it any differently). I always looked at it like I am missing half of their lives. I was able to deal with it because there was always a man in my life to help me adjust. Someone for me to love and care for but now I truly am alone.

I am always looking at the time. *watch out! the princess is on a verbal roll now!* I have always been very time conscious...always. Mostly because I always have someone to take care of, someone to get home to. Does that make sense? I was out with Becca today and for the first time in a very long time, I had absolutely no schedule...and I was actually willing to put on some make-up, do my hair and socialize for a change. I have been spending an awful lot of time at home by myself when the boys are gone. I have been doing a great deal of thinking. Sometimes I come home and don't even turn on the tv or music all evening. Sometimes I just play solitaire and turn things over in my mind. Sometimes I pace and tidy up the house as I walk around. I have just recently gotten back into watching some of my shows. Just a few weeks ago I didn't have enough focus on any show to repeat back what was just said. What I crave though, is human contact. I love phone calls. My girls call and check up on me, or more often I call them when I feel like gabbing. It's ok to just talk on the phone because I don't always actually want to have someone here with me. I feel very sad and I still sometimes cry, but it's not bad...just really different. I check my blog/fb/e-mail all the time. I don't know what I'm waiting for though, it's just a bizarre little habit I have started. I suspect I will obsess about it less and less as time passes. I think at first I would check in hopes of hearing from "the ex"...but I don't look for that anymore. It's not that I don't miss him because I do, but I have a responsibility myself and to my boys and things to do with my friends. I have a job and a life to lead and that's just what I plan to do.

I have been giving a lot of thought to blogging and what I love about it. I love the interaction with all of you. I love that I will sometimes get a call or e-mail from a friend who read something and wanted to comment on it too. It makes me feel good when I get feedback because I love attention...I AM a princess don't ya know! haha...Actually, I also love the feedback because perspective is good. Experience is good. People are interesting and it's cool to connect about feelings with others. I have come in contact with some amazing people during my life and also here on my blog travels. I wouldn't have it any other way.

I have asked a few fine ladies to do guest posts for me. I received a great one from Sid which I plan to post on Monday. I might even wait until Tuesday because it would be a shame if you all missed it! Stay tuned.

kisses,

the princess

Time Heals

Here's a good song for Saturday...

Better in Time

This is just a very lovely song. For me it has only been a short time but I know it really will be better as the months pass. I think the lyrics of this song are positive and helpful.

Breaking Up: from heartache to happiness in 48 pages

One of my girls gave me the sweetest little book to read.

It's not quite as cute without the little cartoon gal but I think you'll enjoy it.

First Page says only "The End"

Being alone is one thing.

Being left alone is another.

As soon as you're told you are no longer wanted or loved...

your self-image takes a turn for the worse,

and you begin to hurt.

You feel inept, inadequate...

and positively good-for-nothing.

However--with some effort--you can make yourself smile.

To show there are no hard feelings, help him pack his belongings.

Begin with his laundry. You want to be sure he as clean undies. (Don't forget to starch them well.)

As you pack his socks, keep one from each pair. (Purely for sentimental reasons, of course.)

Make sure he has his favorite pajamas...*feeties*

and anything else he can't do without.*she's throwing his junk in a pile*

Give him half of everything. *cutting shirts in half*

Then say good-bye...

And don't look back.

Even though there are some things you can't do alone...

*see-saws, dancing, boating/water skiing, tennis*

Count your blessings!

Notice how the seat isn't left up anymore...

and how there's never any question about who ate the last chocolate chip cookie.

Enjoy your newly acquired wardrobe space...

and while you're at it, get rid of those silly things he expected you to wear.

Do your weekly grocery shopping. Notice that your bill--like your appetite--is next to nothing

...and delight in the fact that two can't live as cheaply as one.

When whatsisname comes by to say he's sorry, agree with him--and tell him no, you haven't seen his mother's picture, his magazine collection, or his favorite cashmere sweater.

Call all his friends you could never stand but had to tolerate, and tell them what you think of them!

Exercise your independence! *classic burning ceremony*

Weigh yourself. You're getting closer to zero every day. Smile.

Upon retiring, wear the ugliest, most unsexy, sloppy, wonderfully cozy, snug flannel nightgown you own...

Go to bed with dirty teeth.

If sleeping alone isn't your idea of a good time...

one way or another, you'll adjust. *stuffed toys*

Time doesn't fly when you're not having fun.

But that's what time is for...

to make things heal, make things better.

Soon, you'll see that for every problem...

there is a solution.

And by and by, that old feeling called "loneliness"...

begins to feel like something called "freedom."

Last page says only "The Beginning"

Shedding the "blue jogging pants" and getting on with it

During my senior year in high school a close friend of mine (who shall remain nameless) was devastated by a breakup. I believe they were together an entire 3? 3 1/2 months...anyhow, she was so sad. She used to stay over sometimes and come to school with me in the mornings. She wore the same pair of dark blue jogging pants every day for a month. My sister and I used to wonder aloud why she wouldn't just change her pants already. She just didn't care. She just wanted her comfort. I caught myself slipping into my favorite black gym pants for the 6th day running and decided maybe it was time to change it up a little. Now, I was only putting them on when I got home after work. I did make an effort to choose a different outfit for the 5 day work week. I couldn't be bothered to do my hair though. Ponytails are easier in the summer with the in between curly/straight hair.

Monday the boys came back home. I spent last weekend home alone for the most part. Midge and I (the break-up buddies) hung out a little, but mostly I was here. I haven't been watching much tv. I just don't feel like focusing on it. I did, however, watch American History X on Saturday night and decided to straighten my hair at the same time. I left it that way and had it down for work on Monday morning. I got a great deal of compliments that day.

Funny! I just had another high school memory. The above mentioned nameless friend and I had a theory on high school dances and looking hot. If we just wore nothing special during the week of the upcoming dance, no make-up, nothing fancy but picked something Really great to wear the night of the dance, we were sure to look all the more appealing. What do you think? Did that kind of thought work for any of you in high school? Any little techniques to share?

So, this afternoon at work I had a good laugh. I'm not sure if I should have been laughing about it but it felt good so whatever...

My boss said that I have lost weight, to which I replied "well, I'm eating." and went back to working. He came in later and said he hoped he hadn't offended me. I said "oh no, I just don't really have anything to say about it I guess, but thanks."

I told Di and another girl out back about it as I was getting something in the warehouse for a customer and Di yelled out, "Princess, you sure did lose weight. You lost 150 pounds of boyfriend." I'm not sure why, but I laughed so hard I could have actually peed a little. I didn't say I did by the way, just that I could have.

So What? I'm still a Princess.

How can you not love Pink? I love this song!

Not saying all the words apply to my particular situation, but this totally kicks ass.

Na na na na na na na...I wanna start a fight!

Failable

Sometimes even princesses make mistakes. It just so happens that the one I made hurt someone I love very much and caused him to walk away from my life. It remains to be seen if there is anything I can do about it, but for now I just want to say that I accept responsibility for my own actions. I read something recently that really helped me through this week. It's from a self-help book a friend of mine is reading and it goes like this:
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

If you've ever been criticized or rejected or have failed to achieve an important goal, you know how natural it is to feel hurt and disappointed. But if you berate yourself as worthless and unlovable, you'll be giving yourself distorted messages and destroying your self-esteem. Being rejected and failing are universal human experiences. They don't make you "a reject" or "a failure"--they make you a human being.

Even if you behave badly, it won't do much good to write yourself off as a "bad person." You will simply waste time and energy ruminating about how lousy and terrible you are. This will only incapacitate you and make the problem worse. In addition, this is very self-centered because you're entirely caught up in yourself! Genuine self-esteem is based on humility and an acceptance of your shortcomings. This makes it possible to assume responsibility for your actions, to feel remorse, to apologize and make amends, and to get on with productive and joyous living.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Certainly words to live by. This taught me something about myself. I have struggled with esteem issues always, but when I read this I thought to myself "Princess, you love yourself. You really do. You do really stupid things sometimes, but you are not currently suffering from low self-esteem." While this does not take away my sadness, it does allow me to have more positive thoughts. Thank goodness for my children who kept me focused for the past week and a bit. I am alone now. Time to contemplate and just be.

Leap Of Faith

Taking it to the next level...Jumping in with both feet...Taking the plunge...Buying Shit together

We are officially amalgamating our lives, the boyfriend and I. We bought a car today. We traded in my shitbox Hyundi and bought a 2005 Honda Civic. It is not sporty. A 4 door sedan. Excellent for transporting children from place to place, but not horrible at the gas pumps.

I have been self sufficient for some time and while I know this is such a very positive step in the relationship, I couldn't help feeling that I was giving up just a bit more of myself. I rely on me. That's how it is. Now I rely on him. It's bizarre that I feel this way. We've been living together for almost a year now, but it's just that now we have something big together to pay for. Obligations. I hope this doesn't come accross with a negative tone. I really feel quite happy to have a great new car that does not omit blue smoke at intersections. I just wanted to say what I was thinking is all.

I want to say a special thanks to my guardian dad...who I know checks in on me. He gave me a car a few years back when he moved. I sold it and put it to good use for my household. He's probably reading and thinking "I gave her a perfectly good car. Why didn't she keep that one?". I apreciated that gift so very much. It was a beautiful black sexy car, but it was so big and I couldn't drive it without worrying that I was going to back it into someone...it was so damn big!

Girls Rule, Boys Drool

They just think they run the show. Why is it that men don't seem to remember that they all came out of women? Please do not be alarmed. I am simply making a general observation.

Let Me Clear My Throat

Ah-Huh, Ah-Huh, Ah...

The Value Of A Woman

(as said in the Hebrew Talmud)

"Be Very Careful if you make a woman cry, because God counts her tears.

The woman came out of a man's rib.

Not from his feet to be walked on.

Not from his head to be superior,

But from the side to be equal.

Under the arm to be protected,

And next to the heart to be loved."

In any relationship I have had with husband/boyfriend--past and present, you know--I have set the same standard, which I later wished I could take back. I am not really a very relaxed person, so I keep busy around the house picking things up, tidying a little area, the usual. Often at the start of the relationship, these tasks are shared between the lovebirds, but slowly the man seems to feel less need to be concerned about chores, as if some little cleaning fairies will take care of everything. Removing oneself from doing these tasks simply piles more onto someone else in the house. As I have gotten older, I have been much more vocal about my feelings in this area. Jobs like that get done so much more quickly with 2 people than just 1. I appreciate it every time I get helped out in that way. Honestly. That's just it, I appreciate it, but don't make it a rule. Have I erred in some irrepairable way? I do realize that there are plenty of men out there who could say the same about their wives/girlfriends. To you, no offense intended.

A Friend In Need

Is a friend indeed...

My wonderful friend Rebecca lost her father yesterday. He died as a result of ALS (Lou Gehrig's Disease). He was diagnosed last fall, but he had been feeling unwell for some time before that. Last Christmas morning, Rebecca and her boyfriend got engaged. She has set her date as March 22, 2008. Since she moved into the townhouse next door...oh did I forget to mention?...we have been walking together and talking a lot about the situation. I am going to be one of her "Bride Girls", as they're called on The Rock, so we have been talking about all sorts of details, but mostly about her father's illness. She was determined to have him carried to the hall in his bed if necessary to watch the union and see the cake cut. She just wanted her daddy to be there on her special day.

I am not sure if she will keep the date or not. They are all very close, and Rebecca is the only sibling of 3 living away from their home town. I am wondering if it might be a little too soon. We spoke yesterday evening as she was packing to go home and my goodness, my heart goes out the her. She is so sad. I am grateful that her fiance was able to leave quickly from work and take her home himself. Say a little prayer of comfort if you will please...for her mother also who is feeling quite overwhelmed with grief. I am thankful that Rebecca went home last weekend to see him. It is a comfort that she was able to hug, kiss and tell him she loved him.

This Is The End...

I received something in the mail today that I have been expecting for about a month. Just a small envelope (preceded by a larger one full of documents) containing a single page. My marriage, which was solemnized on the 10th day of August, was dissolved by a judgment which became effective on the 11th day of October. We were legally married 11 years but have been living apart for the last 3, split for the last 4. I do not take this lightly. Marriage is not a joke. It is one of the most difficult jobs a person will have and it requires so much and will certainly be very trying. It can be so much more when there is respect and understanding. ..

I am very happy to have this piece of paper. It has been a very long time coming, and so much has happened in the last 4 years. We do our best to raise our children in this situation and we are so much happier this way.

Oh! And by the way...Blake is no longer dating a married chick :)

Romance

So one of my co-workers got married in July. He and his wife have been together for 13 years, are both in their 30's and are so happy together. He said this morning that tonight is "love night". He has mentioned it before, so we (Diana and I) pressed for details...

"What does love night entail?"

"We make a "love nest", which is a futon on the living room floor, then we lay together and just talk or read books and discuss them...and so on."

We were saying "Aw Greg, that is beautiful...so romantic"

How wonderful and sweet is that? Everyone has their own ways of spending time together. Greg and his wife don't have cable and don't really watch a lot of movies or television. This really does give them more opportunity to talk and spend time. What a great idea. Makes me happy to see them so happy together after 13 years.

There is definately something to be said for too much technoloy. We have so much going on around us that we sometimes neglect the little moments in time with loved ones. This couple makes a point of clearing time for love night...that is a romantic gesture in itself.

The Princess Diaries

I sometimes call myself "Princess Corinna". It started years ago during an evening of drinking with friends. My friend Tammie and I were walking around with little plastic tiarras on our heads and pretending that we got our own ways...when really, we didn't. Not a princess in the stereo-typical "Jewish Princess" sense, as I do not expect, nor do I receive all the material things I want. It is about attitude. I do not demand nor expect an abundance of "things" to make me happy, however, I do expect a lot of respect, love and affection. If I do not receive these things, I feel cranky and unappreciated.

This morning after the alarm clock went off, I stayed in bed and asked for a cuddle. He responded by saying that he was freezing and didn't move. I perceived it as him being too lazy to turn over and hug me, so I flicked him in the head and got out of bed to prepare for work. Yeah, I know...what a bitch! I don't like when things start to change and become overly comfortable. There should always be time in our lives to show love to one another. The longer you are together, the harder it becomes. You know that person will be there later, so you don't try as hard. Gentlemen, this is a wake up call. Do not ignore the signs when your lady wants some attention. We will be like tame little kittens if you do this for us.

The older I get, the more demanding I get. The more I expect to receive what I want and need. I am most excellent at compromise, unless my needs suffer. I will have no more of that, thank you very much.

I am sorry, babe, that I reacted that way...just so you know.

My Gay Friend's Wedding

One of my best women friends, Brenda, married her long-time partner Linda in a small ceremony in Halifax this past Friday night. I had the honor of standing next to her and being a witness of the union. The Justice of the Peace gave a lovely service, and the ladies wrote their own vows to one another. When she originally approached me about standing for her, she said it would just be she and Linda, me and another witness. I was a little surprised that she didn't want to include more family and friends, but she just wanted it to be small and then have a party later. I was so pleased when she called 3 weeks ago to say that they had invited their families and a few friends. It really was a very unique and touching night. I have met her parents and siblings many times over the years, so it was wonderful to spend time with them. It was also nice to meet Linda's family, and all their friends. I could clearly see the love and support of each person in attendance.

I thank you, Brenda, for always being such a great friend to me and for allowing me to be a part of your special day. I couldn't be happier for you.

Adrian, Linda, The JP, Brenda and Me

The First Kiss

Tyler and Blake

The big reunion is on the way. As I was saying in "my heart...", Blake found his child's mother after many years. There has been a lot of e-mailing back and forth...initially between she and Blake, but Michelle and I write as well now. We are getting to know one another as mothers, and looking forward to seeing this special event. There is just so much to it... so much happening. They are moving here to HRM. Blake and Tyler are going to have a relationship! Yay for both of them! They chat on the telephone every evening, discussing daily events and 9 year old passions. He will be here in approximately 1 more month. To Blake, it certainly feels like an eternity, but Michelle will arrive first to settle in and I think it will be nice for the 2 of them to talk about things, become acquainted as parents with a common goal. They will do just fine, I am sure.

My boys are going on vacation to Ontario with their father and family, so while they are away, and before Tyler arrives, Blake and I are going to paint the boys' bedrooms. Seems like a nice time to prepare and surprise them with something new and fun. I have just another week with them before they leave. Ahhh summer activity! So busy and so much fun!

A Pat on the Back

Over the years I have been "taken care of" to a certain degree. You know what it's like when you are married, things get done as a team effort. Fending for myself over the last 3 years has been challenging, although at the end of the day, I have always taken care of me. Certainly I would depend on the ex for financing things and for fixing things I cannot fix myself, but I also spent many months keeping control of the finances and things while he was away for work, so I had no misconceptions of how life was going to be for me.

I am now back into a relationship where we discuss and share the financial responsibilities--**Sidenote**Blake has begun the process of moving things into my home--but oddly, I feel an extreme need to maintain my own bank account and my own VISA. I don't mind sharing money at all, I mean, that's just how it goes, but I have learned some things in my 35 years. Gotta look out for #1 here at all times, and at all costs. I have a car that I am selling to Blake. I could have sold it to someone else, but he really needs a car and is willing to fix the things that need fixing. The problem is that he has only been back to work since having shoulder surgery for 2 months and is waiting to get financing. It's really just a waiting game, but in the the interim, I have reached the end of my financial ropes and was sort of depending on that money to get straight again. I got all worked up and stressed for a time, but decided to put an end to it on Friday.

I went to the bank and got my own loan. I have fixed my problem all by myself. I realize to others this may not seem big, but to me it means a whole lot. I love Blake with all my heart, but it makes me feel good to know that if for some bizarre reason he wasn't there tomorrow, I will be ok and I can take care of business on my own. I feel like a 2 year old learning to get dressed all alone. It feels nice. I am proud of me for having done this.

Divorce--Seth's Perspective

Ah my sweet, sensitive Seth. He has struggled with change since earliest childhood. I worked in a bank a couple of days a week when he was only a few months, and for the entire 5 hours I was gone, he would cry. If he was at our house he was all right, but take him out of his element and watch out! When we got posted back to HRM, I stayed home with him for a year before looking for work. He was just about 2 when we moved to the house and I went back to work only a couple of weeks before his 3rd birthday. He screamed, cried and followed me down the corridor every morning at daycare for a month. Eventually he adjusted. When John and I decided to split, we were also expecting Sidney and planned on sharing the house another year while he finished up the schooling and training he was doing. He had courses away from home and rather than leave the house and try to maintain 2 places, it seemed like the best solution. We didn't discuss it with Seth for many months, although he knew things were changing when his daddy started sleeping in the spare room. We were as open and honest as he could understand at the time. He accepted the fact that we were splitting much better than either of us expected...on the surface.

After we all talked about everything and Seth started to adjust to the idea, he would tell anyone that would listen; "my parents are getting a divorce!" "I am going to have 2 whole families instead of just one!" It certainly wasn't that simple for him. By this time, John was with Monica and I was with Doug. There was security in this for Seth. He likes the dual parent household. It comforts him. Things didn't stay that way in our world though. Doug and I split last spring and sent Seth into another little spiral. He spoke with a teacher at the Boys and Girls Club last summer. Someone he liked and trusted. He is so closed and dark sometimes. You can tell he is thinking about something, but he isn't willing to let us in to share his pain.

Seth recently had an outburst in class. What I mean is that he wasn't listening to instructions and his teacher spoke sternly to him. He sulked, and called her stupid. I will give you a moment to gasp! Anyhow, he didn't say it to her face. Another child overheard him and told the teacher. I received a call from her that she expected a letter of apology the next day. I had him write it out as I called Monica to fill her in. He waved the letter for me to look at, which I did when he left the room...

It was heartbreaking to read for me, I have to say. He said he was sorry for being disrespectful, but that he was upset because he wouldn't be with his new baby brother/sister it's whole life. He said also that he started wrestling more when Doug and I broke up--"just when I started to like him"(says Seth) and that he hoped she understood why he was upset. He said he doesn't want anything to happen with Mom and Blake and Dad and Monica. What it really comes down to is security. He doesn't want anything to change. Also, he has been feeling badly because he wants to stay at his father's for extra time after the baby is born. He didn't want to say anything for fear of hurting my feelings. He is all about being fair, making sure that Mom and Dad get equal time with them...he is conflicted.

I started bawling right there on the phone with Monica as I read these words to his teacher. How my heart goes out to him, so sensitive, so loving. I want him to always feel secure. It can be so hard to make any choice when you know it could potentially hurt your child. Monica said, "Oh Cori, you made the right decision leaving Doug. Things are happier for you and the boys now." This I know all too well, but it still makes me sad that Seth has been upset all this time.

We had a great talk, Seth, Blake and I. We discussed the situation with the baby. I told him that if he needs to spend extra time at Dad's to be happy, that was fine with me. Just come and see me sometimes so I won't miss you so very much...I want him to know that his feelings matter to us. Also, I don't mind the idea of having Seth and Sidney separated for some of the time. They fight and wrestle incessantly! They could use a little down time. I tried to reassure him of my relationship. No, we are not planning a wedding any time in the near future, but we are happy together. And, well, John and Monica are planning a wedding and they have a baby on the way...things are lookin good on that front too. He seems to be feeling more settled now. Here's hoping he will find a way to come to terms with it all.

My Heart is Overflowing

Background...

pssst...Blake has a son. He just turned 9 years old. They haven't seen one another since his boy was 1 1/2. With respect to Blake and his privacy, I will not embellish except to say that because of many reasons of her own, and without explanation she left the province "without a trace". Blake has spent these years growing personally (as we all do) and becoming the responsible man that I met and became involved with. He thinks about his son every day--perhaps even more now as he gets to know my children. We have talked about the possibilities of finding them...how to do it and all of that.

Last Night...

After a conversation we had had previously, Blake decided to check out Facebook and see if he could find her name and picture. He called my cell as I was on my way home from work and says "I found her!". Oh My Goodness the emotion in his voice...so close to tears! So when I arrived he is still composing the e-mail. I read it and thought he said such appropriate things in a very non-confrontational mannor. He sent it without no expectation of response.

This Morning...

I was going through Tim Horton's drive-thru with the boys on the way in to work when the cellphone rings..."She responded", "He knows about me and they are moving here in June", "She was going to look for me" ...tears of joy are falling. It's in his voice, deep with emotion. OH HAPPY DAY!

Stay tuned for further developments...

Eat and Be Merry

'Tis the season, as they say! I love Christmas time. The decorating, the music, the parties and all. I went to two parties this past weekend. Needless to say I am tired today but it was worth it for sure. My staff party was Friday at noon. We shut down the warehouse to have a bbq steak dinner with all the fixings. My boss loves to shop for the food, so there is always plenty for everyone, and it is all yummy! He gets all the ingredients for potato salad and prepares it the night before at home. I asked him if I could make anything, he said he had it covered. He also checks with each staff member to ask what they would like to drink. No hard alcohol, but beer, coolers, wine even, but most of us get beer. It goes so well with the steak and stuff. Can you tell I love food?

Blake's party was Saturday night. It was at a nice restaurant in town called Boomerang's. The menu was a single page with no need for more choices. It was a great assortment. We also had a chance to have some yummy drinks in between the four courses. The place was packed by 8:00pm, and you could tell they wanted us to get r done and get out. We came to my place and a couple from the party came by for a drink. All in all, a weekend full of food and merriment (perhaps more than necessary of the latter).

So the nicest part of Saturday evening was the little gift I received a few days early. I had bought some costume jewelry to go with my dress, but it hung a little oddly. I was going to wear it, but Blake gave me something to open. It is a beautiful necklace with one of those circle of life charms. I love it, and him.

I have not been able to figure out how to put to pictures below the dialog with captions. If anyone has any helpful hints, please let me know.