So Long Mr. Snail

There is a 32 gallon fish tank sitting in the corner of my diningroom. I hadn't quite realized how much I would enjoy watching fish, but it really is nice. My favorite is the snail. I like to look for him because he is sometimes crafty and hides. We tried to find the hiding spot for a while and finally discovered he was just able to drag himself...shell and all into the little castle. He also bobs from the bottom to the top of the tank, or you can catch him all stretched out going for a little walk on the rocks.

Sunday morning when we got up, all that was left of Mr. Snail was his hollow shell. To make matters worse, his pad was stuck to the filter. We are not sure if he got sick and died, then got eaten, or if he just got eaten. I was actually a little dismayed, I must admit! Personally, I think it was the big ugly Pleco. I think he just ate him up...the big meanie!

Rest in Peace, Mr. Snail

The Glasser Lecture

This is a small newspaper article that I wrote during college...

The Glasser Lecture: My Perspective

I had never heard of William Glasser or his Choice Theory before orientation week in September. As Karen Leeuwin told us about it, I felt that it was a highly stimulating theory and that it would be beneficial for me to attend his conference. I was so pleased and enthusiastic when I became aware that I was, indeed, able to attend.

William Glasser is a very intelligent and knowledgeable man. some of his ideas and theories piqued my interest and curiosity, but others made me a little frustrated, even angry. His concept of a "Quality World" was quite interesting. He stated that everyone needs certain elements, such as love and belonging, power, freedom and fun, in order to live a happy and satisfying life. with this, I can agree. If our space in being invaded in a negative manner, our natural tendency is to block it out, or as Dr. Glasser states, "take them out of our 'Quality World'." I have read many books in the self-help department, and I have seen this information presented in one form or another before. On the downside, I find Dr. Glasser to be a very opinionated individual. His beliefs and opinions are so strong that he simply feels that his "Choice Theory" is the only logical solution to many long-standing world problems. In theory, I agree that his ideas would really help, but I feel that without the assistance of teachers, school boards, employers and any individual we come in contact with, it isn't entirely viable.

As for the conference itself, please locate some more comfortable chairs. It is very difficult to concentrate on the subject at hand when our back-ends are falling asleep. All in all, it was not exactly what I had expected. I probably wouldn't recommend it to a friend. Dr William Glasser, as and individual, will definitely not be in my "Quality World".

HEY! WHO MADE THIS BIG MESS?

Me?

Well then I have to clean it up, it's only fair.

Let's get ready for the 10 SECOND TIDY!

Ah, if only all life's messes could be cleaned up so quickly and easily. I was driving in the car this morning, just thinking about the boys and the decisions I have made that effect their lives. I have often thought of writing a little about my own perspective on my divorce but I feel it will be better in parts, rather than one long post.

In my particular situation, the decision to split was mutual. We had both been feeling unhappy for so long that we didn't treat one another kindly. I feel I need to say right now that although some of the events were completely out of my control, I take FULL responsibility for my own actions and words. It is difficult and takes a long time to see things that way because initially it is always easier to say that the other party was the cause of contention (not that I was going around blaming him but...sometimes what we think matters too). I believe that our own personal experiences as we grow (what we see and hear) shape the way we connect and interact with others, particularly in a relationship. When I noticed that the words we spoke were becoming angrier and less compassionate, I knew that if something didn't change, I would not be able to live a happy life with him. I had seen "unhappy" growing up and simply refused to allow my own children to grow up that way. I don't want them to hear negative, disrespectful words. I don't want them to think that it is normal or right to talk that way. Did we do everything we could to make it work? We did all we knew to do. It is too late for regrets and I never had any to begin with, aside from the obvious reasons to remain (children, house, established life).

So what can I do now to improve my life? Think before I speak, be sensitive to the needs of my partner, and SPEAK MY MIND!

My Gay Friend's Wedding

One of my best women friends, Brenda, married her long-time partner Linda in a small ceremony in Halifax this past Friday night. I had the honor of standing next to her and being a witness of the union. The Justice of the Peace gave a lovely service, and the ladies wrote their own vows to one another. When she originally approached me about standing for her, she said it would just be she and Linda, me and another witness. I was a little surprised that she didn't want to include more family and friends, but she just wanted it to be small and then have a party later. I was so pleased when she called 3 weeks ago to say that they had invited their families and a few friends. It really was a very unique and touching night. I have met her parents and siblings many times over the years, so it was wonderful to spend time with them. It was also nice to meet Linda's family, and all their friends. I could clearly see the love and support of each person in attendance.

I thank you, Brenda, for always being such a great friend to me and for allowing me to be a part of your special day. I couldn't be happier for you.

Adrian, Linda, The JP, Brenda and Me

The First Kiss

Mid July Already

Wow! This month is going so quickly. The boys ended up staying a few extra days with Blake and I before going on vacation, so we had an awesome double sleepover and they were here for my birthday as well. Now they are gone for a little over 2 weeks, and we have already begun washing walls and rearranging things. I enjoy that sense of accomplishment around the house. Here are some pictures of the boys having fun in the pool...

Tyler and Blake

The big reunion is on the way. As I was saying in "my heart...", Blake found his child's mother after many years. There has been a lot of e-mailing back and forth...initially between she and Blake, but Michelle and I write as well now. We are getting to know one another as mothers, and looking forward to seeing this special event. There is just so much to it... so much happening. They are moving here to HRM. Blake and Tyler are going to have a relationship! Yay for both of them! They chat on the telephone every evening, discussing daily events and 9 year old passions. He will be here in approximately 1 more month. To Blake, it certainly feels like an eternity, but Michelle will arrive first to settle in and I think it will be nice for the 2 of them to talk about things, become acquainted as parents with a common goal. They will do just fine, I am sure.

My boys are going on vacation to Ontario with their father and family, so while they are away, and before Tyler arrives, Blake and I are going to paint the boys' bedrooms. Seems like a nice time to prepare and surprise them with something new and fun. I have just another week with them before they leave. Ahhh summer activity! So busy and so much fun!

My Tiara Is Off To You, My Friends

I want to say a very special thank you to all my wonderful lady friends just for being you! You have all helped me, stood by me and loved me.

Tammie...you have always been just as sensitive as I am. We pay attention to how often we talk... we have such wonderful conversations and share so much. You have helped me feel so much better about Monica's role in the boys lives. While I have always accepted it, you eased it with your stepmother experience. You love my boys, and they love you very much.

Rebecca...you are so much fun, and so independent. I have learned much from you, girl! We share so much as women and enjoy many pastimes together. You are extremely loyal and accepting.

Brenda...I love that we spent time through our year at college, but I love more that we still keep in touch. We have shared many emotions together. From the beginning of our friendship we connected and had a great comfort level. We have spent periods without talking (just cause life sometimes gets in the way) but it always feels so good to hear your voice...so cheery and kind.

Adair...our friendship has spanned many years. We have always updated by phone if we couldn't get together. We can still laugh at the silly things we have done over the years. You are so thoughtful and kindhearted. You also give the most practical advice!

Tracy...to think we have known one another since your birth, yet we didn't really know one another until adulthood! I am thankful everyday to have you in my life. You are not only my family, but a truly special friend. I am lost for words to describe...

Midge...the newest addition to my special friends list. We share a deep motherhood bond which allows us to share feelings about our children very freely. So strong, determined and persevering. You inspire me.

Eve...although you are very far away, I feel very close to you through your blog. It has always made me feel so good to read about your life and family. You are so generous, loving and supportive. I miss you, my sister. The Popsicle kids rule!!!

I have many other friends who deserve a tiara tip and I love you all.

Why do I Relay?

I Relay for my Mother, Audrey Snooks...and for all my friends and family who have been touched by cancer.

I participated in the Relay For Life this past Friday. It is a 12 hour relay with teams of 10. Someone from each team is to be walking at all times for the duration. It was a very emotionally moving experience. For those of you who are not sure what the hell I am talking about, it is a relay to raise money for cancer research. A cause near and dear to my heart. I am so thrilled to have been a part of such a wonderful event, and will definately do it again next June.

Honesty

I added the "honesty box" feature to my facebook. This means that people can type in an anonymous opinion about me that only I can view when I log in. Blue writing indicates that it is a man, and red for a woman. As I clicked to add it, I knew it could be a good thing or a bad thing. Time will tell.

The first comment I received was 100% true, but still unpleasant to see in all it's bold red glory. It said: "you are stressed out and high-strung". I have to agree, I am both of those things. I mentioned it to Tracy, and she added one to make me feel better. It said: "you are a hot mamma". Thanks Tray...you too! The third had no color, but I know who wrote it as well. It said that I take things to heart (not always a bad thing) and that I am one of the best friends a person could have. Thank you Diana, cause I know it was you. It can be bittersweet to have a means of getting real opinions from people you know. Because it is anonymous, they can say whatever they want. I will wait and see what else comes out.

The Brothers Proud

Here they are in all their big brother glory!

Company with Benifits

My cousin Vanessa and her husband Pierre came to visit on Friday night. She and I are the same age and grew up knowing one another. Pierre grew up in the house 2 doors down from my grandparents, so same with him. Pierre just happens to be a fisherman.

I spoke with Vanessa a few days before to discuss what we would have for supper. She said, does Blake like seafood? Hell yeah! She brought fresh fish, scallops and lobster to make a seafood chowder. I really didn't aquire a taste for shellfish until I was an adult, but it was around from time to time as my mother grew up in a small fishing villiage.

What a wonderful meal we had. What a wonderful visit as well. They left their children with Vanessa's parents, and my boys were with their father, so we just talked and ate and enjoyed. There was more to come on Saturday morning with lobster, eggs and scallops! What could be better? First time having something like that for breakfast.

Thank you, Vanessa for the delicious meals. It was great to have you over. We will do it again sometime!

Pure Sweetness

Just wanted to share with you a moment in my day that I really love.

Part of my bedtime routine includes taking off my beautiful necklace and hanging it on the lampshade so that I don't twist it when I sleep. Every night, as I do this...move my hair aside and raise my arms...Blake watches and smiles at me. Sometimes I only catch it in the peripheral, but I know he's doing it.

Is 6 Horsepower really neccessary?

Up until last summer when I started renting my little townhouse, I had never mowed a lawn before. Many years ago, my ex and I purchased a lawnmower at the Sears appliance store. It had been returned by an older gentleman who (bless his soul) just couldn't keep up with a 6 Horsepower self-propelled lawnmower. It's only every younger man's dream mower, and we got it at a bargain price! Shortly thereafter, I tried to use it--once! Man, it scared the hell out of me, honestly! I was practically chasing the thing.

For all the summers he was away and I was on my own with Seth, and then the 2 boys, I never once had to use that mower. A friend's husband, and neighbour, my friend Jodie's son...someone always got it for me. Princess? Yep, that's me.

A friend pointed out to me when I moved here that I would need to mow my lawn. Much to my horror, I found myself purchasing an electric lawnmower at Wal-mart. It's a start, all right? Mission successful, I mowed the grass all by myself last summer . Did both the front and backyards today, as a matter of fact. psst! Blake does it most of the time now though--hehe--lucky me!

Don't Push Me...

Have you ever heard of "Grand Master Flash and the Furious Five"? They are a huge 70's rap group. Anyhow, their song "The Edge" is still very well known. A few months back I heard (for the first time) a great sampler of it in a Shaun Desmond song called "Get Ready". I think most would know it from Happy Feet. If you have young children, you have probably seen it a time or 50. Sidney was home sick on Tuesday and we watched it again. My favorite part was when Mumble, Gloria and the other penguin children are having their first singing lessons with Miss Voila. It goes like this...

Miss Voila: "Does anybody have a heart song to share?"

Seymour: "Oohh pick me, pick me!"

Seymour: "Don't push me cause I am close to the edge...I am trying not to loose my head." accompanied with a little rap beat, of course...

Miss Voila: "Yes, I like that one, I could really get jiggy with that!"

Makes me laugh out loud every time I see that!

The Stroller

So, anyone that has been through a marriage/relationship break-up has an understanding of how petty things can get sometimes. When Sidney was born, my parents bought me a new stroller for him. I had said no when they first asked if I wanted one, since I already had the first one they gave when Seth was a baby, but then I saw one that I really loved and they bought it. It has 3 huge wheels, allowing for large strides and brisk pace. When I moved all of my things I just couldn't fit everything in right away, so I left some things (including the stroller) with John temporarily. Anyhow, I asked to have the stroller back on several occasions and he would say, "oh yeah, I forgot" or whatever. He had no intentions of giving it back. I don't say this to be mean, it's just what happened at the time. We fought back and forth, and I finally got it back about 1 year later.

I got my "tubes tied" when I had Sidney, so I am not having more babies myself. It is with mixed feelings--some frustration as well as some happiness--that I am giving the stroller back to John to use for Jones. I could sell it to someone else out of spite, but that is not who I am. After the baby was born I said to Blake that I was giving the stroller back, and he said "so he gets it in the end anyhow!" to which I replied with a nasty grumble that I will not repeat as it included bad language. I can't say there isn't a little bitter part of me that just doesn't want to give it up, but as usual, my kind thoughts override and I will give it to them. I can also say in truth that I can do it with a happy heart. Babies are expensive!

She's Having a Baby

Anyone remember the movie "She's Having a Baby"? It starred Kevin Bacon-- when he was quite young actually. Anyhow, during the scene where the wife is in labour, it featured a beautiful song by Kate Bush that is just so poignant to me that I wanted to share it with you. It also reminds me greatly of miss sweet/salty Kate's birthing experience...

This Woman's Work

I just received a call from John. Monica gave birth to a baby boy named Jones (pronounced like Jonas) at 4:25pm today. He was 8lbs 12.2 oz.-- Almost the exact weight as Seth (8lbs 12.5oz) at birth! After 24 hours of labour, the baby was taken by c-section. Mother and child are doing well. The boys got showered and dressed with lightening speed while waiting for their dad to arrive! They are off to meet their brand new brother. Incidentally, I saw pictures and he looks exactly like Sidney did at birth...hmmm ...John's genes came right out there!

Welcome to the world little Jones!

In the Land of Milk and Honey

I read Eve's post the other day about being tagged by a "meme". I had to google it because I didn't know the definition, although I kind of figured it out just from what she had written and by going to the "tagger" to see what she had to say...

So, in MY first fantasy, I have the patience of Job. I maintain my composure even in the most stressful of situations. My incredible abilities in gormet cooking are desired by all! My children love everything I set on the dinner table. I am "Supermom". I am a fabulous organizer and am able to allow time every day for all the cuddles my children can handle.

I have beautiful muscle tone in my upper arms and am able to run in marathons on a regular basis. I have a flat belly and boobs that are perky and the same size (I have had more problems than some women in this regard, I assure you). My skin is clear and smooth every day, landing me the most amazing modeling/commercial deals.

I am a hugely respected Movie Critic. When people read my reviews they rush out to see the movie because "If Corinna gives it a good review, it has to be good"!

Let's Talk About Sex...

Now that I am in my 30's, I am in the throws of that sexual prime. It is interesting because it just sort of hits you! I have always had a pretty high sex drive, mostly because I am a touchy-feely sort of gal and the closeness--especially with someone I love--makes me happy and whole.

My boyfriend is concerned that he will either go blind or that I will eventually kill him with all the lovin. Do you think that can really happen?

Shake Yo Money Maker

Shake, shake, shake yo money maker
Shake, shake, shake what yo mama gave ya!

Blake joined a group on facebook called "assbook". There is a note asking people to send pictures with clothing on only. No nudie pics please! This is right up my alley because I love to look at people's asses. Silly little quirk, harmless, really. I have always done that though. I can decribe the ass of every co-worker I have, not to mention those of my friends. It all has to do with the roundness of the ass. There is nothing more unappealing to me than to see someone walking around with the seam of their pants askew. Looks so ridiculous when the cheeks are not centered in the pants, don't you agree?

I happen to really like the shape of my own ass. It's BOOTYLICIOUS! Definately NOT on my personal list of physical flaws. I know within 5 seconds of trying on new pants/skirts whether or not I will make a purchase based entirely on how my ass looks in them. Very essential part of my criteria.

Protective Gear

Sidney loves to play in the bathtub. Often I will get him all set up with the toys and head to my room a few feet away to fold laundry or whatever. Anyhow, I come into the room one night, and he is sitting there with a little plastic barrel over his privates.

me: "Whatcha got there Sid?"
Sidney: "It's a bird guard."
me: "A bird guard?"
Sidney: "Yeah, to keep it safe. It doesn't fit fat birds or long birds though. Just 3 year old birds."