Monday, May 21, 2007

A Pat on the Back

Over the years I have been "taken care of" to a certain degree. You know what it's like when you are married, things get done as a team effort. Fending for myself over the last 3 years has been challenging, although at the end of the day, I have always taken care of me. Certainly I would depend on the ex for financing things and for fixing things I cannot fix myself, but I also spent many months keeping control of the finances and things while he was away for work, so I had no misconceptions of how life was going to be for me.

I am now back into a relationship where we discuss and share the financial responsibilities--**Sidenote**Blake has begun the process of moving things into my home--but oddly, I feel an extreme need to maintain my own bank account and my own VISA. I don't mind sharing money at all, I mean, that's just how it goes, but I have learned some things in my 35 years. Gotta look out for #1 here at all times, and at all costs. I have a car that I am selling to Blake. I could have sold it to someone else, but he really needs a car and is willing to fix the things that need fixing. The problem is that he has only been back to work since having shoulder surgery for 2 months and is waiting to get financing. It's really just a waiting game, but in the the interim, I have reached the end of my financial ropes and was sort of depending on that money to get straight again. I got all worked up and stressed for a time, but decided to put an end to it on Friday.

I went to the bank and got my own loan. I have fixed my problem all by myself. I realize to others this may not seem big, but to me it means a whole lot. I love Blake with all my heart, but it makes me feel good to know that if for some bizarre reason he wasn't there tomorrow, I will be ok and I can take care of business on my own. I feel like a 2 year old learning to get dressed all alone. It feels nice. I am proud of me for having done this.

1 comment:

Dominican Diana said...

Hey Cori,
I'm so happy for you. To gain such independence is increadable. It must feel nice to know that although there is someone to lean on, that if something happens you can stand on your own two feet.
Here's to a pat on your back.